Kitten heels

sleeping-catIt was a Wednesday, so it must be PMQ’s, which usually means Prime Minister’s Questions in good old UK parliamentary speak. With Theresa May installed as our Prime Minister the commentators have a habit of trivialising events, just as I am doing right now,  by referring to her passion for shoes, and an infamous pair of kitten heels she occasionally wears. This weekly event is billed as a gladiatorial battle where the PM takes on the bitter foe in a verbal joust about the issues of the day; and it usually ends up as some kind of a draw.

Strange that! Because this Wednesday saw the turn of a Wednesday to grace the local hallowed turf. We would see what steel our Sheffield born new manager was made of, as we take on his least favoured home city team, Sheffield Wednesday. This was billed as a gladiatorial battle with the home team taking on the challenge of bitter foe in a physical joust, and you guessed it, it ended up in a draw! Cardiff City 1 Sheffield Wednesday 1.

Until we speak again the unanimous verdict has been declared on the effectiveness of bitter jousts in general, and the the current mightiness of the local Bluebirds specifically…

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Dreaming cats

It’s that time of year when a glimpse of sunshine, blue skies, and slightly elevated temperatures, cause most discerning cats to seek a prime location for soaking up the Vitamin D.

Here in Cardiff it is also the ideal time to gaze across the bay over shimmering waters towards Penarth Head, and dream of lazy days past as we try to hold back the creeping chill in the old bones.

penarth-head

more-sunshine-please

 

Until we speak again, take a leaf out of Juno’s book, and supplement your stores of of the diminishing rays while you still can.

Rotten Boroughs

There was a time in the political history of Britain when cats with an interest in local matters  had little or no say in the election of those who would represent them… merely trapped in personal fiefdoms, you might say. They became known as Rotten Boroughs.

There seems to be more than a passing resemblance in today’s sporting contest with the concept of Rotten Boroughs. Just take a look at the extent of influence that their non-footballing owners have over the football appointments in their own personal fiefdoms!

This is also a clash that takes on a strong sense of being manufactured by media representations; where a ‘rotten‘ core of a rivalry has been projected onto a fixture that only very rarely used to involve ‘significant’ matches. It did however involve teams with a perceived rotten core of supporters, so this might well be portrayed as a derby for the rotten boroughs, at least in some twilight world of imagination. Today’s faux politeness requires that teams present friendly greetings before they play at falling over and getting the opposition players booked or sent off!

cardiff-v-leeds

But, this occasion is also spiced by the need for both teams to drag themselves out of perilous league positions in the early weeks of this season. After a mere handful of matches there is already an important question emerging on local lips…

what-do-you-stand-for

With a new manager, Paul Trollope, at the start of the season, I chose to name my fantasy football team ‘Pure Trollope’ for this year. As I have said before, this was meant to be ironic commentary, not a documentary! Though we can begin to identify the trollope way of playing emerging as a pattern… create chances, score nothing, then present a relatively poor opposing team a few chances to help themselves to a win. Sounds like the machinations of a rotten borough to me, as one of the dwindling numbers paying for the pain of watching a deja vu experience at each home game.

There again, it could just be that we are the activists who have little need for the power of influence that comes with winning matches and challenging for the big time. Why aspire to such heights, when we can enjoy a permanent state of moaning and disagreement with the way of things?

sleeping-cat

If Bella was still listening to the current regular diatribe, she might well be asking if this was really about Cardiff City FC, as it sounds remarkably like the current commentary on an increasingly irrelevant Labour Party… a political party assuming a similar projection to the local team… sleepwalking to oblivion. [For those of you with little or no interest in the outcome the final score was Cardiff City 0 Leeds United 2; and Cardiff finally hit rock bottom of the league!].

Taking your seat

Take a picture of this… it’s a cold Tuesday afternoon in January, and the House of Commons are about to hold a Department of Transport debate on the effectiveness of ‘cats eyes’.

Cats eyesTake a guess as to how many seats are occupied for such a brain numbing encounter? You don’t need to guess any longer, as the latest edition of ‘Pure Trollope’ (Paul Trollope being the new Cardiff City FC Manager) provides the answer for us!

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For the record, the final score was Cardiff City 0 Reading 1, and the home fans left en masse (if such a movement was numerically possible) as the fluorescent ones scored on 89 minutes.

Until we speak again, may your team on the pitch not outnumber the fans in the stands!

Olympic Mission Impossible

For Juno and Bella this would certainly have represented dreams of ‘fast food’; much too fast for either cat, who took a simple view of olympic feats… usually taking the form of lengthy snoozes on a sun-soaked window cill. But, for other members of the animal kingdom, the olympics are drawing close, so practice is essential.

[Note to UK readers… a particular Mission Impossible soundtrack ad may help you to seriously appreciate the following event… though hopefully not the urine of the gnat product!].

Right, on your marks, get set…

Squirrell [1]

Go…

Squirrell [2]

C’mon Usain Bolt, keep up!

Squirrell [3]

Hey, where is my medal?

Squirrell [4]

WHO ARE YOU LOOKING AT?

Squirrell [5]

Seagull on binstore

I knew there was a reason why I run so fast…

 

 

Until we speak again, keep practicing!

 

R.I.P. David Bowie Cat!

Farewell

It’s time for me to wish you my fond farewells, and send you the love for the last time. My recent trip to the dreaded vet, when my ‘in-house physician’ identified a lump on my rear right leg, was masking something I knew to be all the more sinister. It turns out that I have become a walking bag of tumours. No treatment could be offered, so it is with much gratitude that I say my all-too-shortlived home has been a comfortable place to continue feeding the dreaded Scary Monsters.

Here I am resting just before my final one-way trip to the vet. So, as you read this I have already journeyed to a new experience of Sound and Vision. But, as with David Bowie, I have the opportunity to offer you some of my reflections.

Juno was clearly the Blackstar, but as for this Lazarus, well I Can’t Give Everything Away. As for The Next Day, everything Changes in a Hunky Dory kind of way.

“What on earth am I going on about?” you ask. Well I’m no Ziggy but if any Spiders From Mars pass this way, I’ll be licking my lips and Loving the Alien. My apprentice Starman was perplexed the other week when I ate a sizeable spider crossing the carpet. Here I am supremely vigilant, always ready for more…

Where is that spider?

So, Where Are We Now? I’m off to A Better Future, as my Fame wanes. Little Wonder as I face the prospect of Ashes to Ashes, because the Fashion for John, I’m Only Dancing is finally Under Pressure.

Don’t be Low or experience Sorrow, but please don’t start Dancing in the Street, after all This Is Not America. I have left the Absolute Beginners with instructions and reflections to keep bringing you Modern Love through this blog. I have enjoyed my seven months talking with you, my Heroes, and I’m sure there will be another font of wisdom in the future to guide my resident Space Oddity.

Ready to eat

“Time to point that camera somewhere else!”

Bella (13/7/2009 ~ 8/4/2016).

 

Vegetarians nightmare

Why do us cats eat meat? Why not is my answer? Greenery was always something I was brought up to look out of the window at. A vegetarian’s dream dish of fennel and kale resembles nothing more than lush coloured tumbleweed, and certainly doesn’t satisfy the same sense of achievement in knowing that my meal once had a name and roamed the prairies, or whatever.

So, I was very keen to send my apprentice carnivores off to test out a place in St Mary’s Street in Cardiff, somewhere with a name that instantly struck a chord with my culinary sensibilities…

The Meating Place [1]This is a small but very cozy restaurant in a busy part of town for socialising and entertainment, with an atmosphere that invites visiting cats to relax and focus on the food…

The Meating Place [4]

The Meating Place [6]

For the discerning vegetarian the darkness might be a little foreboding, with delicate shades of pink light illuminating members of the animal kingdom. Even some of the wall decoration has been chosen to remind dining cats of their priorities!

The Meating Place [5]

However, a quick glance at the menu takes away any of that decision-making anxiety for vegetarian diners, who may need to conserve all of their energy for lifting knives and forks. With a bunch of appetisers, a couple of starters and one main dish, all thought processes can be reserved for managing the sensual and moral assault from the whisker preening carnivorous majority.

The Meating Place food [4]Any lapsed vegetarians will no doubt be more than grateful for their change in culinary fortunes. A starter of duck and cranberry sauce was presented in a very different format from the aromatic crispy variety so beloved by this cat’s apprentice. Don’t search the menu for this one, as they do like to present a few specials on the day…

The meating Place food [1]Then there is the historical reference of this restaurant, with a previous incarnation of Portuguese cuisine. The hanging skewers have been retained so you can have some of your dishes suspended above the table. In this visit the lamb sewer was particularly delicate and tasty…

The Meating Place food [2]I am reliably informed that carnivore junior also enjoyed the sirloin steak. And why should vegetarians feel left out when the home made chunky chips were cooked to perfection!?

The Meating PLace food [3]Call this food!Reports suggest that scavenging cats need not assemble out the back of this particular restaurant, as plates tend to be returned empty! Until we speak again this Bella would like to extend a special thanks to all the Daisy’s, Dolly’s and Donald’s who graze our green and lush countryside in order to grace the plate so extravagantly.

As a responsible cat it is also important that I state no vegetarians were harmed during the staging of this event!

[Football explained, or not!] V is for…

VAINGLORIOUS… as VALIANT VALUATION is VICARIOUSLY VISITED upon VAGABOND VULTURES.

Close up image of business person holding shining key

However, V is also for VERISIMILITUDE… as VOCIFEROUS VISIONARIES offer VAUDEVILLIAN VERNACULAR towards VAPID VISITORS…

City v Derby [1]

Then there is the V for VORACIOUS… as VIBRANT VIRTUOSO Bluebirds aim to devour VIRULENTLY VEXATIOUS Rams in VANQUISHED VOLATILITY

Not supposed to happen

But the final whistle means V is for VAMOOSE… as VENOMOUS VERBOSITY intermingles with VERITABLE VENERATION and more than a hint of VALEDICTORY VULNERABILITY…

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Watching somethingUntil we speak again this Bella remains VEHEMENTLY VIVACIOUS… For the record it was Cardiff City 2 Derby County 1, with the locals having played 39, won 16, drawn 14, and lost 9, which puts them currently 7th in the league.City v Derby [3]

An Easter Message from Cardiff

Don’t think for one moment that I’m going to get all religious on you. This cat is a resident of the universal suburb of Agnostica! No, I’m going to share with you a challenge too far… a story they never thought could be told. A story of one man’s battle against all the odds.

Picture the scene, a place called Splott! A place where open air cinema has taken on a whole new dimension…

Splott Cinema after fire

A place where religion is taking great strides to get back to its roots…

Splott Road [2]

Splott is an area of central Cardiff where offices dare not go; so the former Maltings Building is reduced to advertising a location for virtual offices in a vain attempt to provide a veneer of economic activity…

The Maltings, SplottThey say that some things can only be loved by a mother; well step aside matriarchal sacrifice, because Splott is a love too far! Or is it, hang on a mo’, just when I was calling time on the place that even the Luftwaffe avoided, I am drawn to a message of redemption…

Jesus loves Splott!

X-ray eyes

 

Until we speak again this Bella will remain hyper-vigilant for further miracles dressed up as religious artifice.

The Good Burghers of Cardiff

Here I am just getting ready for the most important function of my waking hours… it’s time to eat!

Ready to eat

But then comes the big decision… what to eat today? If you’re in the centre of Cardiff and facing a similar dilemma, no worries, as I occasionally send my ‘Culinary Novice’ out to collect some useful intel. Though when I suggested they get out there quick, to find me good cuisine, I wasn’t indicating they come back with information on fast food!

Grazing Shed [1]

Having already established themselves in a quieter corner of the city centre, it seems that  of The Grazing Shed’s brand of Super Tidy Burgers are doing well enough to take up an additional position in the busy south end of St Mary’s Street. But did the good Burghers of Cardiff realise that they were giving permission for a ‘shed recycling business’ when they agreed to the advancement of high quality burgers in their midst?

Grazing Shed [7]

I’m reliably told (if reliable is something I can apply to my ‘in-house infarct’) that this place is all about locally sourced, i.e. Welsh, products and produce. I’ve always been the type of cat who likes my cow to be within visiting distance, and preferably with an individual name!

Grazing Shed [6]Water [1]

“But let’s see the produce!” you impatient burger jockeys are saying. My ‘resident imbiber’ decided that a can of beer was the first priority; but then how can a self-respecting water slurper like myself impose any discipline on the easily tempted, particularly when they are out of my sight?

The Waen Brewery have cleverly tempted my resident ‘willpower deficit’ with an advertising slogan of ‘Hellish Good Beer’!

Grazing Shed [3]

 

Once the initial thirst is quenched it’s time to see what Ermentrude and Daisy have to offer for satisfying both taste and hunger. My ‘culinary chancer’ goes for a Spicy Uncle Pedro, and I demand a quick pictorial explanation to assuage my worst fears of what might have been going on out the back of the dining area! Meanwhile ‘gastronome junior’ apparently went for a more conservative bite of chicken in a bun.

Grazing Shed [4]

The reviews are both very complimentary of burgers and the associated accoutrement. Meanwhile the good Burghers of Cardiff can satisfy themselves that they are contributing to demand for the paper and the food basket industries, wherever they happen to be dominating the Welsh economy.

Until we speak again this Bella hopes that all of your burgers are chain-free!