[Football explained, or not!] E is for…

Posted on September 27, 2015 by Steve Morgan

Commentating on this football malarkey can be really tiring. After all, us cats were not fundamentally designed for the sports vibe. So, I thought I would give you an insight into the whole sports journalism business… here I am deeply engrossed in an intensely thought-provoking creative process.

Meanwhile, I sent my resident ‘misguided optimist’ over to the Cardiff City Stadium to be my eyes and ears on the action. This game is slightly different from all the others in the season, because ‘Optimist Central’ is accompanied by a couple of off-spring who support the opposition; a surefire recipe for disappointment somewhere in the group. Anyway, enough of the familial ramblings, it’s time for me to let you in on the meaning of E.

E is for Eponymous, because the collective number of brain cells of a mass of football supporters is slightly in excess of the number of supporters present. So, it seems they need a reminder of where they are now that they have arrived. Welcome to the eponymous…

But, E is also for Exculpate, as the effervescence of ecstatic passages of play are eternally interrupted by an eccentric epitome of expedience, otherwise known as an ability to go 1-0 down against the balance of play. Who is to blame, or should there be any elective finger pointing at all?

Then suddenly E is for Efficacious, a word most commonly associated with Lily the Pink (you have to be over 50 and from the UK to understand that one!). As if by some eccentric ebullience equilibrium is elevated through an equalising goal (you probably have to be bonkers to understand that one!). Expectation will erupt at this point…

Then as if by euphoric edification E is for Ethereal, as elegant exuberance masquerades as epiphany… yes, you guessed it, the epicentre of entropy equivocates in eloquence. Not that a bunch of football fans would be capable of such éclat. The opposition are sent into existential angst…

And all of this happened a few hours before Wales defeated England in the Rugby Union World Cup at Twickenham!! It is safe to say that my home city experienced euphoria in the extreme. Until we speak again I will continue to be Bella… and for the record it was Cardiff City 2 Charlton Athletic 1, with the locals having played 8, won 4, drawn 3, and lost 1, which puts them currently 5th in the league.

Greggs appeal

Posted on September 24, 2015 by Steve Morgan

My ‘resident gastronome’ frequently warns me to curb my inner sausage roll! Strange conversations we have at times, and despite giving the hard look I’m suddenly finding reasons to change my opinion…

I was strolling near a Greggs baker’s in the city centre just the other day when my attention was immediately drawn to a worrying addition to the queue (or is it the latest delivery of the new filling recipe?)…

Seems it’s not just the luke warm grease ball effect for holding flaky pastry in place that I should consider then. Until we speak again this Bella is listening to the sound of “I told you so” from the Michelin dude (until I crap in the corner instead of my litter tray!).

Balls of bewilderment

Posted on September 19, 2015 by Steve Morgan

I’ve been hearing a lot about some Rugby World Cup just starting, and it seems to be invading my home city in very strange ways. It seems to me to be a weird game in more ways than one. Firstly there is that ball, it rolls where it wants to… hang on here, I’m the one in charge, I decide what goes where in this place.

I saw some of a match on the ‘couch potato’s’ TV last night, and from what I could see it was just a bunch of men jumping and diving all over the place, and throwing each other on the floor in a frenetic way. So I’ve decided to adopt a more relaxed approach to the game.

Meanwhile, after an early morning’s flick and a snooze I thought I would check out what is going on around Cardiff city centre on this first of eight Millennium Stadium match days. The in-house ‘domestic grump’ keeps going on about plastic glasses, whatever that’s supposed to mean. Apparently, this so-called gentleman’s game watched by supporters who mingle and banter in friendly style still invoke city centre pubs to adopt plastic glasses for beer all day on match days.

Anyway, the quality of the beer wasn’t uppermost in my mind as I strolled around town.

Sanity was of greater imperative as I turned into Duke Street… it seems even the iconic Cardiff Castle is not immune to World Cup fever…

As the world arrives on the shores of the United Kingdom for these matches over the next 6 weeks I anticipated strange things would be happening involving balls, but a sight on Queen Street even had me somewhat dumbfounded…

Until we speak again I am going to be bewildered Bella, but may all of your balls be baffle free.

[Football explained, or not!] D is for…

Posted on September 16, 2015 by Steve Morgan

So there I was, contemplating the meaning of life from my newly annexed personal throne, when ‘food finder general’ informs me there is a midweek fixture going on… like now! So, as they say in common footballing parlance… here we go, here we go, here we go (though who knows why?). But let’s get on with reviewing what might have been going on in a parallel sporting universe, where…

D might just be for Delirium, as the locals are invited early on in the season to shoot for the moon, having already found themselves creeping into the rarefied atmosphere just below the summit of the league table…

But D is also for Dissonance, particularly the cognitive variety as the local team defy damnation by losing their first game of the season having put in their best home performance!

D can also be for Dysphoria, as the delicate Bluebirds prepare for what is to become a disingenuous denouement at the claws of white tigers (as opposed to the more usual black and yellow striped appearance of the tigers of Hull City )…

But finally, D is for Duplicitous, as someone changes the rules of the game and puts both sets of goalposts at the same end of the pitch; a tactic defining dubious disadvantage for one team’s defenders…

Until we speak again I will continue to be Bella… and for the record it was Cardiff City 0 Hull City 2, with the locals having played 7, won 3, drawn 3, and lost 1, which puts them currently 6th in the league… we have gone, we have gone, we have gone (though who knows why?).

[Football explained, or not!] C is for…

Posted on September 12, 2015 by Steve Morgan

Cool cat’s chutzpah, as I’m told it is my new responsibility to report on the calamitous capitulations and cathartic coruscations at the Cardiff City stadium.

Enough of the introductions, C is for…

CABOODLE, as in the whole kit and caboodle; though it seems that today’s visitors Huddersfield Town went for the full caboodle in an attempt to blind the opposition with their less than fashionable luminous yellow presentation…

C is also for CACOPHONY, more frequently defined as a discordant combination of sounds, something like you would expect from a raucous home crowd at a football match. However, as the attendances at these matches seem to be diminishing the Cardiff City stadium seems to be making do with the cadaverous sounds of a library, at least until the cacophony shows up!

But in these early undefeated days of the season C is for CAPRICIOUS, whereby the ‘indoor optimist’ is suddenly changing their pre-season crepuscular expectations towards a calefacient candescence…

I have been Bella, and I will leave the calmative caveat of the stadium screen to provide closure…

after all the team have played 6 won 3 and drawn 3 to quietly slip into 2nd place. C’mon City!

Literally literary cat

Posted on September 5, 2015 by Steve Morgan

Continuing the cultural theme, I thought I would take you along on my stroll from the recent appreciation of architecture and geography through to literature. I’m sure you can’t help but notice that I have a liking for reading… that’s the literature thing not the strange town in Berkshire thing!

Fortunately for me the ‘resident brain cell’ makes some efforts with the newspaper and books, because I sure as hell don’t get the luminous screen thing. Perhaps it’s the paws, but those keyboards were definitely not designed by a clever cat.

I don’t like to limit my reading just to the Observer newspaper and the workaholic’s limited range of interests. So if we’re looking at depth and diversity of subject matter I’m talking libraries, and specifically as I live in the centre of the fine city of Cardiff, I’m talking Central Library status. But wait, what have they done to the good old fashioned library? The blissful silence and respect for genteel surroundings seems to have given way to what I can only describe as ‘event reading’.

As I slink my way along The Hayes in the centre of town, past people mindlessly addicted to a vacuous social media mind mush, I’m arrested in my tracks as I approach the site of the grand old library… it seems bereft of its bookish bona fides. And I’m certain those workmen are not stocktaking the latest intake of literary wonders…

The grand old dame has succumbed to the city centre thirst for reading beer bottle labels and micro brewery advertisements, rather than the classics of world literature. So, where is a discerning cat going to get her knowledge fix? Well, look no further than the other end of an upgraded Hayes thoroughfare. I struggle to avoid drifting back into architectural critic mode (trying not to become a feline Prince Charles, or Charlie the Greek as he seems to be known to my resident comedian). But it does seem like those old Victorians had something of the splendour about their building aesthetic, as compared with the modern day Elizabethan minimalist trends for glass and a fake leather cladding…

<<< The old

The new >>>

Then again, who needs architectural splendour when you can throw in a huge hoop & spike combination to keep the punters in a state of confused wonder?

On entry a whole new world of wonder opens up, completely distracting from the so-called main purpose for which the building stands…

It seems there was a glut of glass and steel at the time of construction, so they have not been spared on the inside either. I find myself within a strangely illuminated cathedral for books, that in reality is more a cathedral of space (no, not the ‘outer’ kind). Further distractions are provided by the views out into the aforementioned Hayes, leaving less reasons for stocking the covered paper things after all. Just set up a floor full of the luminous flat screen things, and for good measure litter them around each of the other floors as well.

What with local Council information and other advice centres, and even live musical interludes, it seems like the whole idea of the library as a place where a down and out could come to read the newspaper and stay warm all day has seen its own day.

Until we speak again it looks like I will just have to take the lead from the ‘indoor scribbler’ and write my own books! Whatever happened to reading for relaxation? In line with the concept of ‘proof of life’ please send all your answers on the back of a library book dust jacket.

Where am I?

Posted on September 2, 2015 by Steve Morgan

Having just informed you, my readers, about my home grown credentials, I realise it’s early days in my new home. But, between you and me, I think the odd job I see walking around this place is trying to confuse me. Take the photographs on the wall, this doesn’t look like the Cardiff I know and love…

What’s more, there seems to be some kind of artistic thing going on around the place with further worship of things New York!

Cardiff, Cardiff… so good they named it twice; well that’s my mantra, and I’m sticking to it. Though I might just share some of my worldly reflections in later posts. For now, I need to recalibrate my bearings, so lets go out for a stroll around this cauldron of Welsh culture. Anyone for a taxi? Hang on, what’s this, a pink Cadillac! Whatever happened to the good old Morris Oxford?

All of this confusion just serves to remind me I need to sharpen my claws. Ah, that arm rest will do, and perhaps a moment of madness with the conveniently placed pink fluffy dice…

The stress of all this geographical dislocation has generated quite an appetite; perhaps something indigenous and rustic is what’s called for. Oh no, not the American takeover vibe again…

Even the sweet stuff has been appropriated by the land of the buck…

Where has my Cardiff gone? Until we speak again my world has been turned completely upside down… anyone got an atlas?

	Bernard James on National security
	Kirt on Paean to elegance
	Tom on Devouring history
	Steve Morgan on To Juno’s Dismay
	Thomas Seay on To Juno’s Dismay

JUNO's VIEW

Seeing Cardiff and the world through the eyes of one cool cat

Monthly Archives: September 2015