A Sorrento delight

Don’t be put off by a glimpse of the menu’s of the future… yes, technology is even invading the sensual pleasures of fine dining. No opportunities for a casual glance at a physical menu while passing by here… trust your instincts, sit down, and a digital menu will be provided. If you don’t like what you see simply get up and walk away… the staff won’t be offended, but you will have missed out on a wonderful treat!

For punters of an advanced age, when the waiter offers you a tablet its the menu… not to be mistaken for the cocktail you may be taking a few times a day under the care of your medical team!

But first, getting there… the location is Sorrento in southern Italy, and the final mode of travel is on foot through narrow tourist shopping alleyways. From the central square of Piazza Tasso take the narrow pedestrian Via San Cesario through to the even narrower Via Fuoro.

This destination requires that you ignore several other gastronomic temptations along the way. Just remember that patience rewards the brave as you arrive at the unpresupposing Fuoro 51… a restaurant and wine bar simply named by its number and the street!

An outside table is highly recommended for added people watching, though if you’re seeing people in your glass, you may have had one too many of the delicious local red wines…

Carpaccio sounds like something Italian car mechanics might do. In reality, it was invented in Venice in the 1960s as a way of presenting food very thinly sliced and raw. Put any preconceived food phobias to one side (you’re not in Japan after all!), and treat yourself to two of the most incredible apertisers…

The venison carpaccio is marinated in a spice mix, then smoked for added flavour, and served with purple fig sorbet, kefir, blueberries, and walnuts. This would definitely be part of my death-row final meal! By the way, that meal would have so many of my lifetime favourite courses I’ll be keeled over long before it was completed.

Then, in the interests of balance (specifically for BBC viewers), there is a mouthwatering swordfish carpaccio, smoked, and served with toasted almonds, raspberry, and hibiscus. It’s my newfound belief that swordfish are queueing up off the Sorrento coast to be auditioned for this type of performance.

I need to make the statement of the obvious at this point… take your time, you’ve entered into culinary heaven. But, when you’re ready for the main course, having spent hours distracted and meandering around that tablet, the animal kingdom provided a couple of simply delicious representatives in the form of a wild boar pasta dish, and a slow cooked veal cheek with the most delicate versions of mash. A shared side of roasted Mediterranean vegetables added more colour to the glorious palette of our table…

Until we speak again, it appears that hibiscus is not just that rare flavour you might find in tea! Vegetarians and vegans do come up with some interesting ideas… for enhancing proper food!

Herculaneum

Done Pompei already? Or maybe looking for something equally entrancing but more compact and less overwhelmed by tourists? The shadow of Vesuvius casts you a choice… even if none were offered to so many local residents in AD 79!

The town of Erculano hosts the beautifully excavated Herculaneum. Experts have identified the different fates of Pompei and Herculaneum residents during the same disaster. The former were hit by ash and rocks while the latter were incinerated by molten mud slides. This matters because it underpins the different qualities of what’s preserved between the two sites.

At Pompei, you have a larger town with a sense of public spaces and private lives. Whereas Herculaneum is distinctively exhibiting a smaller, more intimate sense of private residence. On arriving at the site, you have the benefit of elevation to take in the panoramic view…

Getting down into the excavated ruins you initially experience very much the street view of the former bustling port…

But then there is the distinct detail that provides that home view of private lives lived in the shadow of what would become a short-lived terror…

But finally, there is the emotional view, what also distinguishes Herculaneum from Pompei… hundreds of preserved skeletons at the lowest level of the site portray a vision of the horror, as many residents attempted to shelter at the port side stores from the advancing mud that would engulf and ultimately preserve their remains…

Until we speak again, was that a perfectly preserved cat, or simply the chilled out undercarriage view?

Now, I’m sure there was a toilet around here somewhere!

A fishy tale

Like many humans, fish present me with something of a personal dilemma… sometimes they can look so damn good, but alas, in the end, you just have to follow the lead of cats… and eat them. But, before you do, it helps to pay people who know how to present them for eating. This was certainly the least of our problems on a recent trip to southern Italy.

Take Naples, for example. It may well have been a city totally consumed by its recent football success as Italian champions for the first time since the Maradona infused party of 1990.

But not even that could diminish the opportunity for several acquatic species to leap onto our plates in search of a fulfilling end of life! Even if it was a wobbly table in a back street port district car park. Fried calamari, octopus, grilled calamari, fully tooled-up squid, and more docile looking swordfish were simply leaping off the menu to accompany the local white wine.

Taking a boat trip across the Bay of Naples around the Amalfi coast in order to maybe witness dinner in its more usual and natural habitat proved a futile challenge. Ultimately, the coastline is far too distracting.

In the end, it seems the best place to see these fellas is on a plate a few hundred metres above sea level. Ravello provided the ideal place to sample some more octopus. The location also provides breathtaking views out across a coast that could well be the starting point of your dinner’s own journey.

Meanwhile, a boat trip back around the peninsula to Sorrento offers plenty of man-made structures from which you may wish to indulge in dangling your ‘string on a stick’ trap for catching the more stupid of local fish.

While the adventurous were finding ways to source their own sustenance, we preferred to respect the more interesting and apertising welcome offered by a trinity of tuna, grilled calamari, and swordfish pasta

Until we speak again, carnivores need not worry. Should you drift on by the amazing coastline of southern Italy, you will be catered for with the same vigour and probably a collective sigh of relief from the local fish population!

Getting to the ‘Old’ part

OAP… bollocks. Even Juno would have recognised that the recent letter indicating eligibility for a State Pension was sent to the wrong address. In her estimation, her servant might be an idiot, but surely not an old idiot!

But, hold on… this getting old malarkey maybe isn’t so bad after all! It all depends on where you get to do it, I guess. You may have the misfortune to be in a damp sleeping bag spread out on the gravel floor of a farm out building, with a tractor tyre for a pillow. Hang on… that was a previous European tour in the destitute years of teenage invincibility after a never-ending Austrian thunderstorm somewhere near Saltzburg. Whoever said that was a welcoming country to visit?

Now that the seventh decade has reached its own middle age years, it’s time to welcome an unwelcome milestone with a bit more style! A villa apartment with a fabulous view will do…

Particularly if they make their own wine and olive oil!

Then, all that’s needed is a restaurant with great food and a table with one of the best views in the world…

Until we speak again, Ravello high above the Amalfi coast in Southern Italy is as good as any place to set the tone for the older years.

Prosecco Cat

After a hard day sleeping… I’d have a nice cool glass of Prosecco… if I could be bothered!

You see, it’s this travelling thing that just takes it out of me. Take Venice, for example… “Do I really need a few days surrounded by water and crumbling old buildings?” I wondered. Not the right kind of thinking to share aloud with my travel companion, who just happens to think it’s the best place on the planet!

So, what’s so good about visiting Venezia? Whisper it quietly… I wouldn’t want a certain someone to think I’m fully agreeing with their personal recommendation! I guess, to begin with, messing about on the water has many attractions:

Then there are the expected architectural attractions that most people think of when the idea of Venice is raised:

Unassuming cats can’t resist investigating behind any open door… and stunning interiors await the discerning inquisitor:

But, perhaps it’s the bright and colourful side of the surrounding islands or those amazing stain-glassed windows:

Thinking of the culinary side of Italy pizza has to be the first idea that comes to mind. As good as some pizza’s definitely are, look further, as there are so many more culinary delights on offer! Octopus starters and seafood risotto offered delicious distractions for this unashamed carnivore… tuna, calamari, but exquisite meat-based dishes such as pork cutlets proved just as succulent and irresistible:

With so many wide-eyed big picture attractions at every turn… trust the locals to know that the devil is in the detail:

Then again, perhaps it’s best to leave it to Venice to describe just how fabulous it is… with a sharp intake of breath a one-word description may just accompany that continual feeling of incredulity:

As for me, perhaps in the end, the appeal of Venice starts and finishes with thoughts about liquid:

Until we speak again, the availability of fabulous wine was proving to be somewhat overwhelming… time to curl up and contemplate simply ignoring that earlier bottle of Prosecco?

Slam and Dunk

Deep in the Northern Hemisphere winter is a time when the egg-chasing sports enthusiasts get their moment in the limelight; when the Six Nations Rugby Championship takes centre stage; where some of the people of Wales connect with a strange kind of religious fervour.

This year it all kicked off with the biennial ‘Men in Skirts‘ weekend, as Scotland arrive in Cardiff. A brief moment when men can be true to their inner selves, and at least one shopping-laden woman can turn a blind eye…

1. a) Scary scrum

Scotland were in the rarified position of being tipped by many as favourites to win in Cardiff, only to be blown away 34-7 by the native dragon of Wales

1. b) City Road dragon [2]

Next up, it was the turn for Wales to be on the road, with the fixture that inspires thoughts of a clash with old enemies rather than a celebration amongst rivals. What would the marauders across the Severn Bridge take to the hosts of England, tipped to be champions before the tournament started? Well, with dragon-hearts in mouths for most of the last 60 minutes, it wasn’t to be, as St George stumbles to a 12-6 win, and the guest fire-starters prove at the final whistle to be a little more inert in portraying their true heritage…

2. Inert firestarters

Staying on the road, next up is the always welcome trip to Ireland, where the lotion joyously flows, and the red army have frequently found travelling success. As added-on time arrives Wales are only 3 points behind and in possession with the potential of a match-winning try; and then that wayward pass…… Ireland clinically strike for a 37-27 victory, as Welsh heads are bowed…

3. Fallen head [4]

With two oh-so close matches away, Wales return home determined not to let an unpredictable season slip on the banana skin that Italy may lay down at the Millennium Stadium (no Principality Building Society product placement accepted here!). A frenetic first half is followed by a procession to a 38-14 home win…

Banana skin

Which only leaves the simple matter of a victory in the final home match with France to secure a creditable second place in the Championship. If only… Wales don’t do ‘simple’! After most of the match watched through parted fingers, mouth agape, from behind the sofa, the final whistle brings that rarest of outcomes… Rabbits 14 Headlights 13…

5. Desperately holding on

Until we speak again, you may ask “but what about the other matches?” to which the carefully tutored Juno and Bella would answer “so what!” Another Six Nations comes to an end, with congratulations to Ireland for the Grand Slam of 5 wins in 5 games, and even greater congratulations to England for their Number 5… the Dunk of finishing 5th out of 6!

4. Pride restored

Cats in search of fish

Trinidad cat and Welsh cat converge on unfamiliar Italian terrain, and with noses pointed skywards there was nothing better to do than search out the local catch. But why make this a challenge, when the best starting point is milk-based beverages of choice? The guide tells us that Antico Caffe Spinnato is one of the better pavement-side cafes for the best in cappuccino’s or a caffe ginseng… accompanied by a 7-layered chocolate in-house design, and a wild strawberry tart.

Antico Caffe Spinnato [1]Antico Caffe Spinnato [2]

Suitably refreshed, it was time to go in search of the elusive scaly edibles. This place is known for its local fishing fleet and characterful street markets, but where is a street market when you need one? Down back streets and through piazza’s we  meander…

Albergheria streetPiazza Bologni [2]

 

 

 

 

Perhaps these guy’s might provide a clue as to the whereabouts of the local fish, after all they seemed as uninterested in strenuous activity as any self-respecting cat…

Piazza Belini [1]As we turn one corner after another the clues are hard to find, but as for Garibaldi (Teatro Politeama, that is)… that’s got to be taking the biscuit!

Teatro Politeama Garibaldi

So, we might need to resort to a hope and a prayer at this stage. Never fear, if it’s a prayer you’re after this place is over-run with prayer shops of all shapes, sizes and states of decor…

Cattedrale di Palermo [exterior 1]

 

Cattedrale di Palermo [interior 3]

 

 

 

 

 

From cathedral-sized praying venues to piazza-edged confessional sheds, or the simple street vending of pious niceties, this place has you covered…

Chiesa di San Giovanni Degli Eremiti [church]

Chiesa Del Gesu [church dome]

 

Church interior on Via Maqueda

 

As we were seemingly running out of the right kind of prayers a sight of a couple of locals emerges, as if to give us a message… ‘keep going’, was the clear  instruction, but where to?

 

 

Piazza San Domenico Via Argenteria (Keep Going)

Sometimes it doesn’t matter how cool a cat you are, you just need a matter of the luck to fall your way; and so it was to be, as two cats retreat to the accommodation of choice…

Quattro Canti [1]

Centrale Palace HotelThe statues of the Quattro Canti were smiling down on us as they shaped up to herd tired cats in the direction of fish-focused culinary delicacies. The Centrale Palace Hotel might not have projected the most promising of entrances, but the invitation to a top floor roof garden restaurant was always a throw of the dice worth taking. A mouth-watering starter of melon and locally-sourced ham or the prawn salad was eagerly supplemented by a Sicilian red wine of clear nomenclature ~ the Etna Rosso:

Hotel starters

Then, the journey was complete, as the elusive catch gets caught! A swordfish and capers affair, delicately dressed with cranberries and aubergine, or a finely prepared sea bream were laid out for our magnificent consumption.

Fish main in hotel

Successfully replete, what do you do after such a feast? Well there is always the home of the operatic and balletic cats… the Teatro Massimo provided the venue for the final scenes of the Godfather trilogy:

Teatro Massimo by night [1]

As Juno would say, until we speak again ‘that’s Palermo for you’! Grazie, arrivederci.

Fellini appeal

Forgive me for confusing Fellini for being something cat-like… particularly sensual and emotive, sleek in movement and extravagant in taste. As my resident ‘cultural imposter‘ watches a DVD of La Dolce Vita I am left wondering whether the title is meant to be an advert for a healthy ice-cream. But then, so many things in Italian just sound like they should be eaten, whether you know what they are or not.

Anita Ekberg

Anita Ekberg in La Dolce Vita

I am reminded of a recent sojourn into what passes as Little Italy, Cardiff-style. No, not the clusters of ersatz pizza chains designed to remind the casual holidaymaker of something they used mainly to soak up the excess alcohol. I am reflecting on something with a little more authenticity and panache. For those in the know, I am talking a gentle sashay down The Hayes to Giovanni’s joint.

Giovanni's [3]

Original since 1983, here you will be greeted by truly melodic Italian accents, and a clash of cultural images as something a little more sinister bids you ‘buon appetito’.

Giovanni's [1]I strongly advise you to check out the menu before you go, because there is so much to tempt the taste buds, and all sounding like they should be devoured with relish (no, not the American stuff for covering up bad tasting food!). Just for starters you can indulge a Carpaccio di Manzo (marinated raw fillet of beef), Gamberoni alla Marchesa (roasted large king prawns); or if you are strictly vegetarian they even throw in some humourous offers: Funghi alla Mimi e Coco’ (sort that one out for yourself). And then there is the inevitable Zuppa Giorno ( because life is a minestrone!).

As for the main course, this cat couldn’t resist the Penne Spezzatino (fillet steak pieces tossed in garlic, wine and traditional Italian tomato sauce). I am still tasting it as I write.

Giovanni's [2]

As for liquid refreshment, there is nothing like a bowl of Peroni Nastro Azzurro to whet a cat’s whiskers before the main course. And it was a certain Hannibal Lecter who once advised the choice of a nice Chianti, but just be careful what the meat is if you are taking this source of advice!!!

Until we speak again I have been Don Juno wishing you buon appetito.

[With thanks to Arte.TV blog for posting the still image I borrowed of Anita Ekberg].

Breathless bone-crunching

Rugby does offer something in the Cardiff cauldron       Wales v Australiathat football is rarely praised for… opposing fans occupy the same space hours before kick-off for banter and liquid refreshments. But my ‘In-house Rugby Correspondent’ tells me to make no mistake about pondering the cuteness of these cuddly Wallabies…

  they have a plan…

  … and the green and gold finery only masks a core of steel when it comes to slaying dragons. Australia have a historic stranglehold on this fixture… 25 wins to 10 for Wales. However, the real pain for the home team is the 20-2 in terms of wins for Australia since Wales beat them in the 1987 inaugural World Cup. And even further pain is heaped in the last couple of years where Wales have been within a score of winning with a minute or so to go on three occasions, only to miraculously snatch defeat from the jaws of victory on each occasion.

What makes today a real grudge match is the British & Irish Lions 2-1 series win over the Wallabies in their own natural environment earlier this year, particularly the mauling of the final test match. The majority of the Lions were Welsh players, but time is long overdue that they do it under their own colours. Make no mistake, fire-breathers versus furry cuddliness means only one thing… war!

It is time for this…   to smoke this…            Let’s not pretend that such an outcome will be easy following the Lions win down under. The Aussies arrive in God’s Own Millenium Stadium having lost 20-13 to England before cutting a swathe through Italy (20-50), Ireland (16-32) and Scotland (15-21) this month on their way to this extra fixture (not originally planned, so flavoured with a little extra spice!). Over 67,000 settle into their stadium seats, the roof is closed to add to the pressure cooker effect, and the rest of the home nation strap in ready to assault their TV screens with passionate advice and abuse.

     V.     

Home expectations could not be higher, fuelled by images of one Welshman outnumbering the Aussies down under earlier this year, and the cuddly ones looking rather perplexed:

               

The game lives up to all the expectations, as first Wales take an early lead, then Australia are in the ascendency for the latter part of the first half. Australia extend their lead early in the second half before Wales make yet another heroic comeback. Then, guess what? Lightening really does strike in the same place many times… with breath-taking moves and bone-crunching tackles all over the pitch, and Wales having all of the cards falling in their favour, they manage yet again to fall one score short of winning. The final score is Wales 26 Australia 30, or more importantly for the visitors 9 wins in a row against the northern hemisphere champions.

Reports suggest the match was so good the result was less important… try telling that to the locals around here. Wales have two years before they meet Australia in the World Cup group to find that extra score; then the locals will accept a little more how great the match was.

   

I am still being Juno, as long as I avoid some of those rugby tackles until I speak with you again.