Tag Archives: sports

Deception of numbers

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The Momentum of the Corbynistas defies belief. You just can’t beat an activist when it comes to the world of delusion. Let’s take it as a given that within the Labour tribe there is nothing even slightly resembling a credible alternative narrative at this point in time.

The issue is the numbers game… the same activists point to their numbers as the movement that will sweep their ideology into government in just over 3 years time; that they are somehow representative of a potential majority of the electorate. Any challenge that their membership represents anything less than the bright light advancing from a horizon to illuminate our dark lives will be met with instant derision.

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Talking of the delusion of numbers… there is nothing like a modern day struggling Championship football club for slavishly trying to attract the paying advertisers with promises of attendances that simply defy belief. Why, just this weekend the claim is that 14,754 people attended a match where the number of goals actually threatened to outnumber the spectators. Count the thousands for yourself…

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For the record the final score on this week before Christmas was Cardiff City 3 Barnsley 4.

Until we speak again, Juno always knew it would be slightly quicker to count the number of people at the local match than it would be to count the number of leaves outside her window. On occasions her world view could be marginally more exciting, and certainly more interesting than listening to a politically driven ideological diatribe based in the fantasies of a deluded minority.

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Overcoming life’s inequalities

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Have you heard the one about David and Goliath? If you haven’t, just ask Zac Goldsmith. Anyone remember Zac? He’s the rich boy, former Tory politician who came up against the son of a Muslim bus driver, or so we were constantly told.

Well, so-called smart guy Zac didn’t exactly display many smarts in his campaign to become Mayor of London; deciding to follow some ill-conceived advice about pitching a mendacious focus on racism that completely back-fired. Mr Khan played the clever game, and is now the much liked Mayor of London. Go for it, Sadiq!

Well, dear silver spooned Mr G. then decides to play the ‘resignation on principle’ card. Playing to the favours of his super-rich constituents in a very leafy part of south-west London in order to be returned to parliament as an independent (aka a Tory in an ill-fitting disguise) . On this occasion the Tory wealth machine complacently came up against a Lib-Dem (who are they again?) woman, Sarah Olney (about as high profile as her political party these days). Sarah and the L-D’s play a canny game, and guess what? Yes, she is returned as the surprise new MP for Richmond Park.

half-cat-half-doorJuno wasn’t exactly backward in coming forward with the canny game. Here she plays the half-cat-half-door routine to lull unsuspecting goliath’s into her trap…

So, what has this got to do with anything, you ask? Well, just last night we had the appetising spectacle of a bluebird coming up against a wolf.

No contest, you shout! Well, just ask Zac Goldsmith about no contests. Certainly before the game started there was a moment (see the two opposing players nearest the camera) where the essentially dog routine of sniffing arses looked about to break out in a public place…

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city-v-wolves-2Two minutes into the match, and a thunderous strike from the wolf leaves the bluebird reeling… the obvious outcome of such inequality is only a matter of time. But, canny games are afoot, as the home team contrive to imitate a bunch of turkeys in search of a christmas oven. When David Coleman described football as a game of two halves, he was clearly clairvoyant with a futuristic view of this match. Two second half strikes from the Bluebirds and they put the canny in the can.

Until we speak again, for the record the final score on the hazy scoreboard represents Cardiff City (Bluebirds) 2 Wolverhampton Wanderers (Wolves) 1.

Struggles of the Liberal Elite

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First came Brexit then came Trump… the certainties of years of liberal ways of thinking and being were suddenly and unceremoniously being thrown out.

The power of numbers can be an amazing thing… for the minority who blatantly command the proceeds of wealth, to the detriment of the majority who are left to pick up the tab, there will eventually be one outcome…

down-the-panSpare a thought (but little else) for the greedy who now find themselves in times of turmoil and upheaval. A mere flicker of hope from the recesses of a Richmond Park by-election may well ignite flimsy thoughts of a return to the promised land, but a lack of leadership does not bode well.

And so it came to pass, on a cold afternoon in the Cardiff City Stadium. The liberal elite of London-by-Sea (aka Brighton & Hove Albion) high-rolled into town, with thoughts of rising to the number one spot in the Championship table, and a step closer to the promised riches of the Premier League. But this is the home of the Bluebirds, a solemn breed who have all-too-briefly tasted a seat at the top table, and harbour strange thoughts of returning. Strange indeed, as there seems to be a new take on the concept of enlightened leadership…

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For the record, the travelling Liberal Elite of Brighton were reduced to 10 men shortly before the conclusion of a 0-0 bore-fest. An afternoon that brought an outcome not too dissimilar to that of recent referendum and election experiences, for those with aspirations that ignore the reality for the majority.

Until we speak again, Broadsheet Bella seems to be looking in vain for a way out of the present darkening days (and Cardiff City FC struggle to find a way out of the grip of the relegation zone).

The politics of slaughter

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A clear summer’s evening in Cardiff earlier this year provided the backdrop to centenary commemorations of the start of the Battle of the Somme…

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So, it was fitting that another field, that of the Cardiff City Stadium, fell silent for a minute in memory of the ending of the colossal loss of life…

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Thus began another epitome of futile gestures! As generals stand on the sidelines, barking orders for younger men to throw themselves forward in attack. All who bore witness had nothing less in mind than slaughter of the opposition.

With all guns blazing, there was little to separate the two sides as the time arrived for the site of battle to fall silent…

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As the respective generals present their politician-styled banalities dressed up as post-match punditry, the locals claim the bragging rights from a Cardiff City 3 Huddersfield Town 2 victory.

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Until we speak again, it might be useful to take a leaf out of Bella’s studied approach to political reportage.

Lib Dems of football

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A brief taste of the power that comes with a place at the top table; a collapse of confidence throughout the natural support base; recent glimmers of hope of a revival, or maybe even a new dawn; only for the gloom to descend as familiar failings re-emerge…

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Am I talking about the recent travails of the Liberal Democrat Party, as they pick themselves up from an electoral pasting in 2015 with flickers of hope in a recent by-election? Or am I talking about a Cardiff City FC team having fallen from a brief sojourn in the Premier League, to recently occupying the bottom position of the Championship, only for a new messiah to raise that thing called ‘hope’ with a couple of wins and a draw?

right-hookCardiff City 0 Wigan Athletic 1 is the kind of unwanted result that brings a sharpened perspective to those who wallow in a land called hope. Juno offers a right hook as a wake-up call; and Rich Hall recently reminded us that “hope lies somewhere between wishful thinking and performing a rain dance.”

Until we speak again I guess I had better get dancing!

Kitten heels

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sleeping-catIt was a Wednesday, so it must be PMQ’s, which usually means Prime Minister’s Questions in good old UK parliamentary speak. With Theresa May installed as our Prime Minister the commentators have a habit of trivialising events, just as I am doing right now,  by referring to her passion for shoes, and an infamous pair of kitten heels she occasionally wears. This weekly event is billed as a gladiatorial battle where the PM takes on the bitter foe in a verbal joust about the issues of the day; and it usually ends up as some kind of a draw.

Strange that! Because this Wednesday saw the turn of a Wednesday to grace the local hallowed turf. We would see what steel our Sheffield born new manager was made of, as we take on his least favoured home city team, Sheffield Wednesday. This was billed as a gladiatorial battle with the home team taking on the challenge of bitter foe in a physical joust, and you guessed it, it ended up in a draw! Cardiff City 1 Sheffield Wednesday 1.

Until we speak again the unanimous verdict has been declared on the effectiveness of bitter jousts in general, and the the current mightiness of the local Bluebirds specifically…

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Messing about on boats

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“The owl and the pussy cat went to sea…” someone once said. But, whoever saw a cat taking a liking to water? This recent Bank Holiday weekend saw Cardiff Bay hosting an event that would cause most feline’s to high tail it straight to their favourite hiding place. Yet many cats of an adventurous disposition, into action and speed, were preening their whiskers in the balmy weekend weather. It seems like Cardiff City Council may even have got a grant from the Welsh Assembly Government to paint the water blue specially for the event!

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The architecturally challenged St David’s Hotel (this being about the best angle to wonder at it) has found a new function, as a starting line for the race.

Starting line [2]

The Grand Prix of the Seas comes to Cardiff Bay as part of its international tour, but does anyone know which way we are supposed to be going?

Racing boat [3]

If you don’t quite make it into the competition final, you can always pretend to assume some degree of speedster superiority by racing a pleasure boat…

Racing boat [8]

But look where you’re going, because those bouncy castles are just like shopping trolleys, they can suddenly appear anywhere…

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Phew, just missed it…

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If the thrill of semi-enclosed speed doesn’t float your boat, why not try standing on something resembling a high-tech plank of wood?

They're off [1]

Race turn [4]

Then again, if your preference is more of a sedentary dispensation, you don’t get to avoid a challenge… a nation awaits you!

Challenge Wales boat

Or, perhaps if it’s just the promenading that works for you, the terra firma of Mermaid Quay offers cool cats a modern day boardwalk…

Mermaid Quay [3]

Until we speak again, enjoy your water, however you take it.

Labour Party travails

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They say “you have to be in it to win it”, well I wasn’t and they did, but not very convincingly. As I was surgically waylaid, it seems my team managed their first win of the season [Cardiff City 2 Blackburn Rovers 1]. However, it also transpires they won courtesy of two own goals by the same Blackburn player; so we still haven’t actually scored a goal all season!

That got me thinking of a political analogy… a team that doesn’t have to score because they can rely on the opposition scoring own goals for them. Sounds just like the luck currently enjoyed by the Conservative Party making up the British Government. Who needs to exert themselves when we have a Labour Party determined to shoot themselves up the proverbial?

Not supposed to happen

Until we speak again, would somebody please remove the blunderbuss from the possession of Her Majesty’s farcical opposition?

[Football explained, or not!] Z is for…

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ZANY…

Watching Cardiff City FC over the last 9 months is nicely summed up in the following quote: “Talent without discipline is like an octopus on roller-skates; you’re guaranteed movement, you just don’t know if it is going to be forwards, backwards or sideways.” [H. Jackson Brown Jr.].

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But Z is also for ZEITGEIST… and the spirit of the local fans and the team has been repeatedly summed up in a phrase that means little to anyone else not in the know…

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As another season comes to a close it becomes abundantly clear that Z is for ZILCH… on too many recent occasions team members have embodied an oft used cliche as a season draws to a close… their ZONKED demeanour suggests they are already on the beach.

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So, finally Z is for ZUGZWANG… i.e. nothing of any advantage emerges from the last few displays, as the team occupy firstly the uncoverted 7th position, the highest of the meaningless places; but then contrive to slip even further with a final draw in a game they shouldn’t be drawing.

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For the record the final score was Cardiff City 1 Birmingham City 1, with the home team finishing the season in 8th position with 17 wins, 17 draws, and 12 defeats. Until the next season of hope and despair (with Juno and Bella’s successor taking on the role of managing me), why not spend the summer sharpening your ZZ TOP impersonations, listen to your ZOMBIES back catalogue, or simply catch up on some relaxing ZZZ’s.

[Football explained, or not!] X & Y are for…

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YESTERYEAR… as your team find themselves 7 points adrift with only 9 more to play for in this season. Fans are invited to indulge more in arse-end-surveillance for any sources of satisfaction…

Arse end surveillance

Y further stands for YOKE… as your team welcomes you to take on a permanent burden of failing expectation; particularly when they go 0-1 down against the bottom of the league team in a must-win match!

Croesio Stadiwn

But X can strangely stand for XANADU… as those who should know better begin to dream again as the continued pressure against a 10-man opposition (after a 30th minute sending off) brings an equalising goal…

Goal GolAs for that XMAS  feeling, the penalty in the last minute brings jubilation to the locals; but this is an X really better put on hold, as reality looks like emerging with a much different type of outcome…

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Bella predicted that if you YEARN for your XYLOPHONE it will only YIELD a YOWL. If you find YOURSELF YAWNING at this YARN try the score instead, Cardiff City 2 Bolton Wanderers 1; with the locals now having played 44, won 17, drawn 16 and lost 11, they remain in 7th position (top of the also-rans!).