[Football explained, or not!] Z is for…


Watching Cardiff City FC over the last 9 months is nicely summed up in the following quote: “Talent without discipline is like an octopus on roller-skates; you’re guaranteed movement, you just don’t know if it is going to be forwards, backwards or sideways.” [H. Jackson Brown Jr.].


But Z is also for ZEITGEIST… and the spirit of the local fans and the team has been repeatedly summed up in a phrase that means little to anyone else not in the know…

Do the Ayatollah [2]

As another season comes to a close it becomes abundantly clear that Z is for ZILCH… on too many recent occasions team members have embodied an oft used cliche as a season draws to a close… their ZONKED demeanour suggests they are already on the beach.


So, finally Z is for ZUGZWANG… i.e. nothing of any advantage emerges from the last few displays, as the team occupy firstly the uncoverted 7th position, the highest of the meaningless places; but then contrive to slip even further with a final draw in a game they shouldn’t be drawing.


For the record the final score was Cardiff City 1 Birmingham City 1, with the home team finishing the season in 8th position with 17 wins, 17 draws, and 12 defeats. Until the next season of hope and despair (with Juno and Bella’s successor taking on the role of managing me), why not spend the summer sharpening your ZZ TOP impersonations, listen to your ZOMBIES back catalogue, or simply catch up on some relaxing ZZZ’s.

[Football explained, or not!] X & Y are for…

YESTERYEAR… as your team find themselves 7 points adrift with only 9 more to play for in this season. Fans are invited to indulge more in arse-end-surveillance for any sources of satisfaction…

Arse end surveillance

Y further stands for YOKE… as your team welcomes you to take on a permanent burden of failing expectation; particularly when they go 0-1 down against the bottom of the league team in a must-win match!

Croesio Stadiwn

But X can strangely stand for XANADU… as those who should know better begin to dream again as the continued pressure against a 10-man opposition (after a 30th minute sending off) brings an equalising goal…

Goal GolAs for that XMAS  feeling, the penalty in the last minute brings jubilation to the locals; but this is an X really better put on hold, as reality looks like emerging with a much different type of outcome…

Fireworks on dark sky





Down the pan



Bella predicted that if you YEARN for your XYLOPHONE it will only YIELD YOWL. If you find YOURSELF YAWNING at this YARN try the score instead, Cardiff City 2 Bolton Wanderers 1; with the locals now having played 44, won 17, drawn 16 and lost 11, they remain in 7th position (top of the also-rans!).

[Football explained, or not!] W is for…

WATERSHED… as the chance of making a play-off place, to keep open a slim chance of promotion to the Promised Land, assumes WAGNERIAN WAVELENGTHS

Hand in sea water asking for help. Failure and rescue concept.

But rather WHIMSICALLY W also appears to be for WILTING WOEFUL WAYWARD @ANKERS… as half-time arrives with barely a shot on goal by either team…

City v QPR [3]

And finally, W is clearly for WHATEVER!… as a marginally revitalised second half produces a WINDBLOWN WINDFALL of WISTFUL WISHES but no more goals than the first. With two points out of nine from their last three matches the ever hopeful are beginning to become WRACKED WITH WRATH as the strain of burdensome expectations and hopes WENDS its WEAVE

Negative mindsetFarewellBella has departed to take up residence with the originator of this blog, Juno; but the WONDROUS WHACKY WAFFLE from the resident WINSOME WASTREL will undoubtedly be a WEARISOME task WELCOMELY WITHDRAWN.

For the record the final score was Cardiff City 0 Queens Park Rangers 0, with the home team now having won 16, drawn 16, and lost 10; so they still remain rooted in 7th position.


[Football explained, or not!] U is for…

UBERMENSCH… in response to an UNAMBIGUOUS ULTIMATUM following the UNCTUOUS UMBRAGE experienced in the last home match defeat.

Man jumping off a cliff with a rope.

City v Ipswich [1]


But it also seems to be for UNBELIEVABLE… as the match goes ahead with an UNEQUIVOCAL clash in timing with the England v Wales international rugby match, as seen in the respective crowds…


England v Wales [1]




Then there is always the U for UNBEKNOWNST… as the business end of the season poses the ULTIMATE challenge for those still feeling UPBEAT…

Devil in the detail

But fans need to be UNIQUELY aware of the potential for UNABRIDGED UPHEAVAL as the UPSIDE of the rollercoaster ride that will form the end to the season…

Roller coaster ride

You looking at me [2]

Until we speak again this Bella will be seeking an UPGRADE to UTOPIA. For the record it was Cardiff City 1 Ipswich Town 0, with the locals having played 37, won 15, drawn 13, and lost 9, which puts them currently 7th in the league.

[Football explained, or not!] T is for…

TROUBADOUR… as T’YORKSHIRE TYKES TRY TO TRICK  local TRIBESMEN with a seductive mascot in their TRADITIONAL TAPESTRY of white…



City v Leeds [1]

Those in the know (i.e. biased home supporters) understand that T is for TENUOUS… as TREMULOUS TREPIDATION sets a TEMPLATE for a TOXIC TRAJECTORY as recent TUMULTUOUS TRACTION TURNS TO TRAUMATIC TRANSACTION…

Concept: Successful business trend. Happy talented businesswoman pointing arm upwards in front of ascending business graph, isolated on grey background.

Thinking cat

If I didn’t know better I’d swear my TRUCULENT TYRANT TRANSACTS THROUGH TRANSFERENCE and the proposition of a TSUNAMI of TURMOIL is nothing more than TANTAMOUNT TO TRAGICOMEDY!

Until we speak again this Bella will TRADE only in TAUTOLOGIES. For the record it was Cardiff City 0 Leeds united 2, with the locals having played 36, won 14, drawn 13, and lost 9, which puts them currently hanging TANTALISINGLY to 7th in the league.

[Football explained, or not!] S is for…

SISYPHEAN… as the locals adopt a STOIC attitude to their team’s SOMNAMBULANT SHIFTING between 7th and 10th positions in the league, but never quite SURGING into the all-important Top SIX.

With all one's strength

SERENDIPITOUS… as fans SALIVATE over the SHOCK of back-to-back SEISMIC home wins.

City v Preston [1]


City v Preston [2]









SCINTILLA… as SUBTLETY SUCCUMBS to SPECULATION (yet again!) of what might be over the remaining 12 games.



Contemplating from my chairUntil we speak again this Bella will largely SASHAY in SUBLIME SERENITY as I offer you nothing less than SANCTIMONIOUS SALUTATIONS. For the record it was Cardiff City 2 Preston North End 1, with the locals having played 34, won 13, drawn 13, and lost 8, which puts them currently 7th in the league (temporarily at least).

[Football explained, or not!] Q & R is for…

QUACK REDEMPTION… as the weather favours ducks.


QUIET RIDICULE… as my ‘intrepid reporter’ QUITS the challenge half way to the match in a RECIDIVIST QUANDARY having failed to attend a match for the second occasion this month. 



QUAGMIRE RENAISSANCE… as the home team overcome conditions to leave the travelling seagulls RELUCTANTLY QUAKING

Seagull & West Looe

ArmadilloUntil we speak again this Bella will remain QUASI RECONCILIATORY towards the in-house RAGAMUFFIN. For the record it was Cardiff City 4 Brighton & Hove Albion 1, with the locals having played 32, won 12, drawn 13, and lost 7, which puts them currently 7th in the league.

[Football explained, or not!] O & P is for…

ONTOLOGICAL OBJECTIVISM… otherwise known as OVERWHELMED by a need to stay dry. OPPUGN the passion if you will, but OODLES of the wet stuff from PREDICTED PERSISTENT PRECIPITATION turns out to be a recipe for OBFUSCATION. News of a PITCH inspection PRODUCES PALPITATIONS, after all, who PAYS to see PLAYERS PADDLING?

City v Blackburn [2]

Water [1]Us cats are nothing but PERSPICACIOUS in our OUTLOOK on all things to do with water. The PORTENTOUS PREDICTIONS of my OPAQUE PRAGMATIST are for the game to be POSTPONED.

But, it’s no OVATIONS for my resident OBDURATE PAGAN, as the rain-soaked game goes ahead with at least one PUTATIVE PHENOMENON missing.

Until we speak again this Bella will remain OMNIPRESENT. For the record it was Cardiff City 0 MK Dons 0, with the locals having played 30, won 11, drawn 12, and lost 7, which puts them currently 9th in the league.

[Football explained, or not!] L is for…

LARGESSE… as it is the season to be jolly Santa turned up and the away team were gifted a goal on their first attack, against the early run of play. The greetings were less than seasonal from the home crowd, with references to “You fat ba$t@+d”.

City v Forest [2]

Cue the messages for the locals to overcome the effects of recent LIBATION… though ready for what is anyone’s guess!

Are you readu Cardiff?We soon become aware that L is for LABYRINTHINE… as the mesmeric intricacies of the passing create the equalising goal, while bamboozling the opposition as well as many in the crowd.

LabyrinthineBut this is Cardiff City Football Club, and it doesn’t take long to realise L is for LOST… not as in losing the match, more losing the brief observing of what is occasionally called ‘the beautiful game’! In terms of lexicology, the longevity of lightening locomotion is lobotomised by the lachrymose longeur of limitations. Put another way, we are treated to a litany of languid and laborious lateral play, inducing nothing more than a lamentable display of lacklustre limbo.

BoredArmadilloUntil we speak again this Bella will be longing to luxuriate in lustrous and lyrical liberation. For the record it was Cardiff City 1 Nottingham Forest 1, with the locals having played 24, won 8, drawn 10, and lost 6, which puts them currently 10th in the league.

[Football explained, or not!] G is for…

GRUDGE… as my in-house ‘Genial General‘ prepares for the visit of the rivals from across the River Severn, whose name should not be uttered! Apparently this is a goad germinated in childhood that generates grievance at the memories of galling gallantry unrewarded. “Grow up”  is what comes to mind for me! Meanwhile, on the pitch, it seems that the rivals compete at the genius idea of gladiatorial grappling in preparation for the big game…

City v Bristol City [2]

However, as the teams line-up for kick-off it becomes clear that G is for GRATUITOUS, as any gauntlet of rivalry is quickly gobbled up in the genealogy of those on display. Just how many Cardiff players are Cardiffians, or Bristol players Bristolians?

City v Bristol City [3]By the half-time whistle G is beginning to represent GENTEEL, as the garrulous gathering are given mere gesture rather than glamour or glory. The gainful gravitas of the substitute gophers provides more grace than the gaffe-prone galaxy grovelling in the gloom of the changing rooms.

City v Bristol City [4]Finally, it would appear that G is for GUNGE, as the guarantee of glamorous galacticos’ offering guile and gloss belongs in a far distant groove; only to be replaced by ginormous gimps providing a gallery of garbage best summed up as guano. The grating grimace of a glance at the final scoreboard is only gazumped by the guiltless gargoyles on the pitch grubbing for garlands.

City v Bristol City [5]Relaxed rugbyUntil we speak again I will continue to be Bella, though on the display just portrayed I might stick with the funny shaped ball game… and for the record it was Cardiff City 0 Bristol City 0, with the locals having played 13, won 5, drawn 6, and lost 2, which puts them currently 8th in the league (though God knows how!).