Tag Archives: Republic of Ireland

500!

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Who’d have thought it back in the summer of 2013… as a cat deep in thought, pondered nothing but good intentions towards a swan on the canal beneath Chez Juno? Wind forward nearly 11 years, and the 500th post on Juno’s View has arrived.

How best to celebrate this milestone… when you just happen to find yourself in Dublin? As the previous post pondered… what are you going to do? Perhaps a quality control review of the city’s finest is in order… after all, it’s Guinness time!

First off, it’s The Stags Head… and yes, that first pint really does hit the spot while surrounded by the trappings of a well-preserved Victorian pub.

Then there is The Brazen Head… for some genuine history. It just happens to be the oldest pub in Ireland dating back to the 12th century and serves a cracking pint of the black and white stuff. What’s more, a traditional Irish band seems to be celebrating the 500 with me!

Then a call into Darkey Kelly’s just happens to combine all that’s good about visiting Dublin, including tasty Irish beef stew and great music…

Don’t be flagging, as there’s a load more celebrating to be doing. Kehoe’s might just provide that much needed pint… in between pints!?

Not forgetting The Temple Bar… so good they named the whole neighbourhood after it…

If bands are a bit full-on at this stage, try The Auld Dubliner for a Guinness with a solo guitarist/vocalist backing soundtrack…

And you lucky old soak, you, as there is only a few yards to stagger to The Oliver St John Gogarty across the cobbles. You might even have a horse-drawn carriage waiting outside for you to finally be poured into as you head off into your drunken stupor!

And when you wake up the day after the day before, there’s always a visit to the Guinness Storehouse  Brewery Museum itself as a reminder of why your head’s not feeling like it did 24 hours earlier! A fabulous educative tour across several floors culminating in that hair of the dog pint in the Gravity Bar… complete with a 360-degree view of all you’ve forgotten you did before!

Until we speak again, that quality control review is published in full as follows… Wow! Here’s to the next 500… wherever they may be. Juno may be long since passed, but Juno’s View continues!

Why go to Dublin?

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Is that even a real question? Ask any random selection of pissheads… sorry, tourists, and you can be sure that none of the most familiar reasons for visiting will be liquidated. But is there anything that can seriously interrupt the flow? 

Quenching that religious thirst that draws so many of us when on holiday is well served in this capital city of a Catholic country. Here, there are two cathedrals, neither of them Catholic in persuasion! However, both are very capitalist in nature. You don’t need to wrestle your conscience when staring at the donation box… you’ve already paid a compulsory admission fee to get anywhere near the box.

Christ Church Cathedral comes with a fully accessible crypt. It’s a great place for hiding that most worshipful of gift shops…

Half a mile away sits St Patrick’s Cathedral dedicated to a Welshman who possibly decided his own homeland wasn’t wet enough! Meanwhile, the organist clearly buys into the more regular reasons for visiting Dublin…

Apparently, the General Post Office was a site of much spillage back in the early 1900s… blood in particular. Once you’ve purchased your commemorative stamp in the cathedral-like main office, splash out some more dosh next door and educate yourself about the 1916 Easter Uprising, leading to Irish independence from British rule.

Still got that need for surfing local history? On the north bank of the River Liffey, you really should set aside an emotional half day to learn more about the impact of the 1845-52 Potato Famine. The EPIC Museum details mass emigration, as the national need to install the Irish Pub into every other part of the world officially began. Further connection with the horrors of the day can be found in the statues making up the Famine Monument. Also, a must visit is the 45-minute guided tour of the Jeannie Johnson tall ship, which made 16 journeys carrying human cargo across the Atlantic.

Finally, if you’re apprehended for any misdemeanours, there is a large and empty place of interest waiting to accommodate you. Kilmainham Gaol is another highly rated tourist attraction. Closed down in 1924, it’s still a fine source of social and political history and became something of a blueprint for subsequent prison layout… including crosses to identify the places where executions by firing squad took place!

Until we speak again, Dublin Castle provides less depth of interest. But, who would’ve known it was the blueprint for tall cranes?

Irish weather forecasting

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Life in a country facing all the Atlantic Ocean is able to throw at you means the weather is a continual topic of interest.

On a recent visit to Dublin, The Brazen Head pub, the oldest in all of Ireland, offered invaluable advice built on 8 centuries of experience…

Until we speak again, remember in Dublin all four seasons often happen… in the same day!

Catch yourself on

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Slow, slow, quick, quick…

For a city cat from Cardiff, a visit to the west of Ireland can provide a soporific change of gear. Not least because you have to catch yourself on to a naturally slower local pace of life.

Looking for a quiet indulgence in the national libation? We may not be ready just yet…

And there is a stark reminder that corners here were made for waiting on; even if they are not exactly on the corner! It is what it is, and you just have to catch yourself on…

And, just because we are about 25 miles from the west coast doesn’t mean we can’t have a harbour, does it?

If it appears to you that we are ‘a few boats short of a regatta’, well, just catch yourself on…

There again, the so-called Marina Point does provide home to further aquatic references, in the form of the Shearwater Hotel…

This just maybe the place where the traditional lotion can be found. But, catch yourself on, it will only be served to you after an appropriate settling wait… as the local pace of life is more about quality than speed.

Further indulgence in the life of a snail brings its own rewards, as this is most certainly a cosy home where bovine and porcine companions can be found deliciously co-habiting in a bun…

Those who like their steaks of the lean variety, catch yourself on, and find a healthier part of the world. The juicy offerings here come with a protective layer of fat. But if that is not enough, try a basket of triple cooked chunky chips and a base of caramelised onions. Button mushrooms intrude on the base to showcase what healthy eating could be… if you were somewhere else, that is!

Until we speak again, check out county Galway in the west of Ireland, and Ballinasloe particularly, if you want to catch yourself on to a lifestyle of the slow.

Asylum Seeker

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And so it came to pass that mathematical uncertainty disappeared down the same pan that had long since been the final port of disposal of any pretensions to artistic flare and dynamic teamwork. In short, the local team fall through the trap door of Premier League relegation, and go back from whence they came a mere twelve months ago. Gloom descends on those who are clearly unaware of the privilege they experience in sharing the Juno household.Full face

So, my thoughts mischievously turn to matters of detention and incarceration for those who have spent a deluded season of misguided hope and expectation. Don’t mistake my fixed stare for anything more than simply a mask of sympathy for those who frequently desert me; underneath I am rolling around the floor in fits of laughter.

Clarion entrance

I can’t begin to imagine the fear and despair in what passes for the mind of my companion as they are escorted through the foreboding portals of Victorian misery. Surrounded by nothing but haunting desolation suspended beneath threatening slate grey skies where I imagine the colour blue has long since been banished…

Clarion externall view

 

 

 

 

Above the stone entrance the last thought for the prospective inmate will be the 1848 etched above the cavernous door. 18.48 was to be about the time that celebrations would be easing having achieved  survival on the final day of the season; instead it is merely a portent of when time stopped for the poor lost souls of mental incapacity (aka football supporters).

How challenging it must be to put one foot before the other in a leaden walk into a world devoid of any cheerful welcome, into a place where light has long departed only to be replaced by the grim shadows…

Clarion reception

… pierced only by the incoherent screams of those fated to live out a colourless life of inactivity…

Clarion conference events centre

What dimly candle-lit expanses of cold dormitory await, where eery spectres lie in wait to disturb any inmate suspected of escaping into the soulful respite of slumber?

Clarion room entrance [1]

Clarion room entrance [2]

 

 

 

 

 

 

Clarion bedroom

 

 

Single beds with thin mattresses barely separated by space to move, with every inch of premium real estate taken for wharehousing abject misery.

Clarion iving room [2]

 

But surely the undemarcated darkness of night and day is preferable to the grim vitals that constitute the monotonous fare to be served up in the bland surroundings of a grey refectory…

Clarion barClarion meal

 

 

 

 

 

A place where dreams are routinely crushed, and the only source of hope lies in solemn prayers…

St Columbas Church

 

Then I hear the key in the door of the Juno household, and in walks a smiling beneficence. For all of my tortured worries and concerns for the welfare of the ‘migrant labourer’, it transpires that they were residing at the Saint Columbas lunatic asylum (circa 1848) in Sligo (Republic of Ireland), but now it is the splendid luxury of the Clarion Hotel… the lucky bastard!!

Until we speak again I am going to be a determinedly demanding Juno, particularly after hearing about the enjoyment of all this hospitality and opulence.