Cats for a new dawn

thinking-catBella was often to be found in deep  contemplation. Could it have been a fretfulness for so-called hard Brexit’s yet to be? Maybe it was a fear of any game that involved a Trump card! Or, was she simply playing over in her mind a favourite feline chase, involving the exposing of claws to greedy bankers scurrying about the floor before her.

Whatever the source, it always seemed like she was in a mood for change. As a deaf bag of tumours, she had the full on experience of being one of life’s strugglers, for whom the promised bounty had found its way into the pockets of others… the chosen few.

A very same mass desire for change has equally gripped the deluded followers of a certain local football team. When you find yourselves bouncing along the bottom of your league, you quickly resort to emotional affectation underpinned by a complete lack of evidence or sound judgement. Collectively, you become a herd of cats in search of a new dawn. The banners are dusted off, and the gladiators take to the field before an inflated audience, many drawn to a one-off experience of the bogof (buy one get one free) variety.

city-v-bristol-city

Until we speak again, a new manager and new players arrive, and the tale of unexpected cauldrons produces a Cardiff City 2 Bristol City 1 scoreline, enough to bring tears of joy to the emotionally impoverished Bluebirds witnessing the first goals scored at home by someone in blue this season. Just don’t start believing in a new dawn just yet, with Brexiteers’ and Corbynistas’ already laying claim to the realisation of the activists dream, some things come in three’s… so the 8th November in a certain gun-toting nation could yet make The Exorcist look like Mary Poppins! As for Warnock’s wonders…?

 

CL-UMP

A coming together of protagonists for a staged event lasting 90 minutes, whereby the two opposing forces seem loved by the few and disliked by the many. Blows are traded, almost like handbags at five paces, until one or other side lands a decisive strike (or two). But ‘decisive’ is meaningless, as the competition on show is but a small part of the overall contest, to be decided at a date already determined for the conclusion of the campaign.

Immigration is not an issue for the two sides that have nothing but open arms (though limited economies) for the influx of outside talent; and there certainly were no walls being built by the home defence! I don’t know how many Hilary’s or Donald’s were on show, but there was a grim consistency in the message for the home believers, as Derby County just edged the bottom of the table duel at Cardiff City 0-2.

A poignant message could be viewed on the big screen… a lament for the cancellation of the home team’s Goal of the Month Competition; owing to the fact that the home team didn’t score any goals at their home venue throughout the month of September!

in-memory-1

right-hook

 

Until we speak again Juno would have had no gender bias I’m sure, but her wishes for Hilary would be ‘deliver a knock out blow’!

Rotten Boroughs

There was a time in the political history of Britain when cats with an interest in local matters  had little or no say in the election of those who would represent them… merely trapped in personal fiefdoms, you might say. They became known as Rotten Boroughs.

There seems to be more than a passing resemblance in today’s sporting contest with the concept of Rotten Boroughs. Just take a look at the extent of influence that their non-footballing owners have over the football appointments in their own personal fiefdoms!

This is also a clash that takes on a strong sense of being manufactured by media representations; where a ‘rotten‘ core of a rivalry has been projected onto a fixture that only very rarely used to involve ‘significant’ matches. It did however involve teams with a perceived rotten core of supporters, so this might well be portrayed as a derby for the rotten boroughs, at least in some twilight world of imagination. Today’s faux politeness requires that teams present friendly greetings before they play at falling over and getting the opposition players booked or sent off!

cardiff-v-leeds

But, this occasion is also spiced by the need for both teams to drag themselves out of perilous league positions in the early weeks of this season. After a mere handful of matches there is already an important question emerging on local lips…

what-do-you-stand-for

With a new manager, Paul Trollope, at the start of the season, I chose to name my fantasy football team ‘Pure Trollope’ for this year. As I have said before, this was meant to be ironic commentary, not a documentary! Though we can begin to identify the trollope way of playing emerging as a pattern… create chances, score nothing, then present a relatively poor opposing team a few chances to help themselves to a win. Sounds like the machinations of a rotten borough to me, as one of the dwindling numbers paying for the pain of watching a deja vu experience at each home game.

There again, it could just be that we are the activists who have little need for the power of influence that comes with winning matches and challenging for the big time. Why aspire to such heights, when we can enjoy a permanent state of moaning and disagreement with the way of things?

sleeping-cat

If Bella was still listening to the current regular diatribe, she might well be asking if this was really about Cardiff City FC, as it sounds remarkably like the current commentary on an increasingly irrelevant Labour Party… a political party assuming a similar projection to the local team… sleepwalking to oblivion. [For those of you with little or no interest in the outcome the final score was Cardiff City 0 Leeds United 2; and Cardiff finally hit rock bottom of the league!].

Taking your seat

Take a picture of this… it’s a cold Tuesday afternoon in January, and the House of Commons are about to hold a Department of Transport debate on the effectiveness of ‘cats eyes’.

Cats eyesTake a guess as to how many seats are occupied for such a brain numbing encounter? You don’t need to guess any longer, as the latest edition of ‘Pure Trollope’ (Paul Trollope being the new Cardiff City FC Manager) provides the answer for us!

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For the record, the final score was Cardiff City 0 Reading 1, and the home fans left en masse (if such a movement was numerically possible) as the fluorescent ones scored on 89 minutes.

Until we speak again, may your team on the pitch not outnumber the fans in the stands!

Labour Party travails

They say “you have to be in it to win it”, well I wasn’t and they did, but not very convincingly. As I was surgically waylaid, it seems my team managed their first win of the season [Cardiff City 2 Blackburn Rovers 1]. However, it also transpires they won courtesy of two own goals by the same Blackburn player; so we still haven’t actually scored a goal all season!

That got me thinking of a political analogy… a team that doesn’t have to score because they can rely on the opposition scoring own goals for them. Sounds just like the luck currently enjoyed by the Conservative Party making up the British Government. Who needs to exert themselves when we have a Labour Party determined to shoot themselves up the proverbial?

Not supposed to happen

Until we speak again, would somebody please remove the blunderbuss from the possession of Her Majesty’s farcical opposition?

Brexit explained

Be very wary of those welcoming messages, they might just be hiding something more sinister for unsuspecting visitors…

Welcome to Cardiff City Stadium

“It’s those immigrants, coming here and taking our overpaid prima donna roles.” [With only five Welsh players in the whole squad, three of whom you never hear about!]

“How is our local economy going to survive?” [Our home grown talent has to make do with only a few grand a week!]

“It’s those foreigners, coming here and taking all off our points!” [Cardiff City 0 Queens Park Rangers 2.]

“What is happening to our sovereign status as an independent sporting power?” [Oh yes, we are in hock to a Malaysian owner!]

Until we speak again, keep the welcome in a language designed to keep all of those interlopers baffled…

Welcome in Welsh

 

Wales Euro Stars!

Ready to eatCats all over Wales have had a month of excited bewilderment, as the focus of the nation’s passion for sport took a seismic shift from rugby to football. We could be forgiven for thinking after a 58-year wait, that turning up to make up the numbers was a great achievement. But this is Wales, a land with a passion for the spectacular.

Apart from Gareth Bale, who would have thought in the heady days of early June that we would go further than the former World Champions and current European Champions, Spain; and then equal the current World Champions, Germany? Along the way we managed to send home the hosts of the next World Cup, Russia; and magnificently dispatch the so-called World’s second ranked team, Belgium! We might have scrapped a win against Northern Ireland, and lets just forgive and forget the generosity we offered England (while thanking Iceland for the non-Wales highlight of the whole tournament). All great stories need to come to an end, and for us Portugal in the semi-finals is recognised as the game too far.

The City of Cardiff decorated itself with banners and flags to raise expectations…

Welsh football [2]

Brewery Quarter banner

St Mary Street waits

Then there was the reminder that we had a little matter of group games to negotiate…

Welsh football [1]

But fairy tales happen (not just shit, then); and they often begin with some kind of castle in the picture…

Castle [1]

… and just a few adoring fans lurking in wait for a glimpse of the heroes of the story…

Castle [2]

And who would have thought that over-paid young football players would forgo the expensive cars to travel anywhere on a bus?

On the bus [1]

On the bus [2]

On the bus [3]

On the bus [4]

This was a one-way ticket to adoration, destination Cardiff City Stadium, and a rousing rendition of the Manic Street Preachers Welsh football anthem. And this was a squad that didn’t win the competition! But, perhaps the salutary lesson of the great homecoming was a sign that even Solicitors have a heart… occasionally!

Solicitor

Until we speak again the great new footballing super power will be recuperating in time to stride towards the even bigger stage of the 2018 World Cup. Look out world, we are coming.

[With acknowledgement to BBC Wales for some of the images used in this post].

[Football explained, or not!] Z is for…

ZANY…

Watching Cardiff City FC over the last 9 months is nicely summed up in the following quote: “Talent without discipline is like an octopus on roller-skates; you’re guaranteed movement, you just don’t know if it is going to be forwards, backwards or sideways.” [H. Jackson Brown Jr.].

Untitled

But Z is also for ZEITGEIST… and the spirit of the local fans and the team has been repeatedly summed up in a phrase that means little to anyone else not in the know…

Do the Ayatollah [2]

As another season comes to a close it becomes abundantly clear that Z is for ZILCH… on too many recent occasions team members have embodied an oft used cliche as a season draws to a close… their ZONKED demeanour suggests they are already on the beach.

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So, finally Z is for ZUGZWANG… i.e. nothing of any advantage emerges from the last few displays, as the team occupy firstly the uncoverted 7th position, the highest of the meaningless places; but then contrive to slip even further with a final draw in a game they shouldn’t be drawing.

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For the record the final score was Cardiff City 1 Birmingham City 1, with the home team finishing the season in 8th position with 17 wins, 17 draws, and 12 defeats. Until the next season of hope and despair (with Juno and Bella’s successor taking on the role of managing me), why not spend the summer sharpening your ZZ TOP impersonations, listen to your ZOMBIES back catalogue, or simply catch up on some relaxing ZZZ’s.

[Football explained, or not!] X & Y are for…

YESTERYEAR… as your team find themselves 7 points adrift with only 9 more to play for in this season. Fans are invited to indulge more in arse-end-surveillance for any sources of satisfaction…

Arse end surveillance

Y further stands for YOKE… as your team welcomes you to take on a permanent burden of failing expectation; particularly when they go 0-1 down against the bottom of the league team in a must-win match!

Croesio Stadiwn

But X can strangely stand for XANADU… as those who should know better begin to dream again as the continued pressure against a 10-man opposition (after a 30th minute sending off) brings an equalising goal…

Goal GolAs for that XMAS  feeling, the penalty in the last minute brings jubilation to the locals; but this is an X really better put on hold, as reality looks like emerging with a much different type of outcome…

Fireworks on dark sky

 

 

 

OR

Down the pan

 

 

Bella predicted that if you YEARN for your XYLOPHONE it will only YIELD YOWL. If you find YOURSELF YAWNING at this YARN try the score instead, Cardiff City 2 Bolton Wanderers 1; with the locals now having played 44, won 17, drawn 16 and lost 11, they remain in 7th position (top of the also-rans!).

[Football explained, or not!] W is for…

WATERSHED… as the chance of making a play-off place, to keep open a slim chance of promotion to the Promised Land, assumes WAGNERIAN WAVELENGTHS

Hand in sea water asking for help. Failure and rescue concept.

But rather WHIMSICALLY W also appears to be for WILTING WOEFUL WAYWARD @ANKERS… as half-time arrives with barely a shot on goal by either team…

City v QPR [3]

And finally, W is clearly for WHATEVER!… as a marginally revitalised second half produces a WINDBLOWN WINDFALL of WISTFUL WISHES but no more goals than the first. With two points out of nine from their last three matches the ever hopeful are beginning to become WRACKED WITH WRATH as the strain of burdensome expectations and hopes WENDS its WEAVE

Negative mindsetFarewellBella has departed to take up residence with the originator of this blog, Juno; but the WONDROUS WHACKY WAFFLE from the resident WINSOME WASTREL will undoubtedly be a WEARISOME task WELCOMELY WITHDRAWN.

For the record the final score was Cardiff City 0 Queens Park Rangers 0, with the home team now having won 16, drawn 16, and lost 10; so they still remain rooted in 7th position.