The Battle of Christmas

What's that?It’s the time of year when families get together and try desperately not to beat the crap out of each other, or so I’m told; as mine is brimful of decorum.

‘In-house numpty’s’ Junior 2.0  has just left after a visit across xmas, so now we can return to drawing our usual battle lines… they don’t share enough of the good food, and I might just miss the litter tray on the odd occasion!

Must remember not to go so far as to make it look like some serious disease-thing though; otherwise I might be dragged off to the vet in that strange cage thing left out in the passageway as some kind of humanoid threat. Is that the best they can do?

Anyway, I digress with these deliciously wicked thoughts and future plans of retribution. “Tis the season to be jolly” they keep saying on the talking box in the corner of the room. What was more interesting on my recent visit to the local mega cultural centre (aka the Millennium Centre) was a true recognition of the challenge this time of year presents for so many people. It seems that one of the key messages in Cardiff this year reflects a sense of reality… seasons greetings are reserved ‘Only for the Brave’!

Brave xmasUntil we speak again this Bella is puzzling over what the overhead spectre in the Millennium Centre in Cardiff is meant to represent. Any suggestions welcomed on the back of a postcard.

Nadolig Llawen

It’s the time of year when Cardiff has to look deep inside itself… to find three wise men. But, if its wisdom you’re in search of just look up (no great discoveries emerged from looking on the floor all day, except unsolicited gifts from the rear end of dogs that is). Star Wars might be the ‘in thing’ at the cinema, but who would have thought that Cardiff will find a unique way of reminding you!

No 3 wise men!

It has become all the rage in recent years for German Christmas Markets. At least it provides something to do with all of those surplus sheds since the downturn in the economy; or is it a sign that the modern re-constructed man spends more time in the kitchen and in front of the bathroom mirror, and less time in the shed? The monotonous selection of wood winds its way around many parts of The Hayes, but try to find anything of use in any of them?

Festive Quarter [2]

 

The presence of a windmill does little to celebrate the German origin of the whole tradition…

Festive Quarter [1]

But fear not, when hunger bites the German sausage can be relied on to come to the rescue (or is this a convenient location to offload your badly behaved children?)…

Festive Quarter [3]Having dumped the minor irritants in the vicinity of a sausage making machine it’s time to catch up on some of that much-needed liquid refreshment. Why not try the Moose Head Bierkeller? Provided you can navigate the Canada and Germany cultural collision you might be surprised to find a full range of non-Canadian and non-German fayre. The ubiquitous Welsh flag and Union Jack are on hand to resolve any geographical cognitive dissonance at this point!

Festive Quater [4]So all that’s left to do is stagger home by the light of the understated seasonal illuminations…

The Hayes [1]

St Mary Street

Xmas is about?Which just leaves this home-based Bella time to reflect on the true meaning of this time of year. Is it something to do with the fairy tales that emerge from the dark tower at the heart of the pious city? Or should I just practice my look of utter surprise as Santa comes down the non-existent chimney?

X-ray eyes

 

 

 

 

Until we speak again have a merry christmas, or Nadolig Llawen as a few of the locals around here are occasionally heard to say.

It’s a carve up!

Pretty girl [1]Family birthday events do have a habit of clashing with the run up to christmas; but then it’s difficult to shift a birthday I suppose. So what can be done if the christmas effect is to be avoided in the culinary department? Nothing it would appear, but then who listens to the advice of a knowledgeable cat? It comes as an unusual experience for my kind not to be in complete control of what goes on, particularly when this bunch of humans decide to go off to ‘noshville’ without me!

22669161 It seems the older, so-called wiser members of the group decided to do the same thing as last year. Well, don’t blame me if you get the same as you already had! There were incessant moans about the rubbish service from my ‘resident gourmand‘ on the news of the deja vu eating experience. Nevertheless, off to the Marriott Hotel in central Cardiff is where the starving clan congregated. [With thanks to booking.com for the above image of the hotel exterior].

Marriott [1]

It seems that the place was quite popular, or is that just the christmas effect kicking in? Anyway, those who should have been at home taking care of my culinary delights were led to a table in close proximity to carver central…

Marriott [2]

Marriott [3]It seems that lightening really does strike twice, as I hear it took three separate members of staff an eternity to sort out bringing a bottle of Rioja and a couple of glasses to the table… a mere 20 minutes later than the glass of Pino Grigio and glass of Pino Rose requested by others in the party.

I wonder if draping a clean handkerchief around the bottle adds to the flavour of the wine; or is it just a sneaky flourish to cover up for poor service?

With a taste of wine smoothing the palate my discerning food taster goes for a simple mix from the starters buffet table; salami and ham accompanied by salad and antipasti…

Marriott [4]

But the coup de gras of the whole set up was the hotel’s signature hot buffet carvery, top ended with melt in the mouth turkey breast and beef, sublimely accompanied by crisp seasonal vegetables, a fluffy Yorkshire pudding and tasty gravy…

Marriott [5]Tis the season for brussel sprouts, and for all of the faint praise they receive, a crunchy sprout is a fine accompaniment to any festive dish. The overall verdict reported back to me was of a very tasty meal, but a likely seasonal recruitment campaign results in service that falls below the average expectations. So, until we speak again may all of your brussel sprouts be crunchy!

[Football explained, or not] K is for…

KARMA SUTRA… well, what do you expect when the birds (Cardiff City FC) and the bees (Brentford) get together? After all, there are at least 26 positions across the pitch (if you’re counting the referee and other officials); all laid out in front of a voyeuristic crowd!

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But K is also for KINAESTHESIA… as the kick-ass locals are fully in tune with muscle tone, position and movement, resulting in the quite common recent experience of going in to half-time with a 2-0 lead.

City v Brentford [3]

However, K is also for KNIFE-EDGE… as once again the full 90 minutes turn on a Desmond (Tutu, that is… as in 2-2), as knackered knaves kibosh the chance of any kudos.

City v Brentford [4]Then, suddenly K comes to stand for KAFKAESQUE… as the kerfuffle of a final kamikaze raid by the home team produces a winning goal in the last minute of added on time. Kaleidoscopic splinters coalesce, as kindred spirits no longer stare down the khazi. Karma is returned, no sutra required; as unrealistic expectations are kneaded back to kite-flying proportions.

With all one's strength

Chilling in the sunUntil we speak again this Bella will be anticipating Kalamity with a capital K; and where can a cat find a proper kebab when you need one? For the record it was Cardiff City 3 Brentford 2, with the locals having played 21, won 8, drawn 9, and lost 4, which puts them currently 7th in the league.

[Football explained, or not!] J is for…

JIHAD… as the crowd are jingoistically implored to create mass jocularity as they ‘Do the Ayatollah‘…

Do the Ayatollah

But J is also for JUDGEMENTAL… as jubilation justifiably means jack when the crowd are off somewhere else on another junket…

No crowdJUGULAR becomes the jest at a critical juncture as the joust becomes a jibe with a converted penalty early in the game…

PenaltyBut jettison the japes as the second half nerves jangle when jaded jackasses deliver nothing more than a jaundiced form of JUSTICE

Another drawArmadilloUntil we speak again I will continue to be Bella… and for the record it was Cardiff City 2 Sheffield Wednesday 2, with the locals having played 20, won 7, drawn 9, and lost 4, which puts them currently 7th in the league.

Mounty bites the dust

Sleeping catMy ‘resident inebriate‘ does bang on about how traditional pubs are disappearing, only to be replaced by swanky bars, and craft this, brew that and hop the other! Why should I care, after all, any self-indulgent cat worth their whiskers would always go for swanky whatever’s.

However, as I was prowling around the Adamsdown-Splott-Roath who-knows-whats-where boundary in downtown Cardiff, I couldn’t help but notice that the local maple leaf had hit the turf, as the Dead Pubs Crawl gets a little longer…

The CanadianUntil we speak again I will continue to be Bella, but I guess that’s the end of any potential twinning of Cardiff and Ottawa!

Smoky Days

Pretty girl [1]A smoke and fire combination doesn’t have to spell disaster. Though when my ‘resident gastronome’ started eulogising about the taste of smoke I was beginning to contemplate instant evacuation from the joint! Rather than a fire-induced emergency, it seems the reference was more to a recently established addition to an over-full American burger type of market. The smoke in question turns out to be a Kansas influenced method of cooking that uses the b-b-q smoky style that brings out the best of taste in good meats.

The Smoke Haus [1]

Being American in origin, The Smoke Haus leaves little space on the plate. Ramping up the numbers of the obese population doesn’t seem to be a primary concern. Health hazards are just collateral damage when it comes to the pursuit of gastronomic pleasures. On the occasion of this particular visit a New orleans Burger, Kansas Chicken, and Veggie Chilli were complemented with house fries, rice, Guinness, and Anchor Steam beer. These were the relatively small portions, but for those who could eat a horse, or another more likely complete animal for that matter, The Smoke Haus is waiting to prepare the challenge for you!

Smoke Haus [2]

Whatever level of challenge you take on, there is the universal message to all diners… We Salute You! Well, they do get to pocket your hard earned cash, and this isn’t cheap by average burger joint standards…

Smoke Haus [3]

… The old adage is that you get what you pay for, and my ‘surrogate tastebud‘ tells me it is worth paying the upsell for a whole different quality of taste.

X-ray eyesUntil we speak again this Bella recommends the influence of smoke on you palate. A Smoky Day should not just be a melodic tune from Colin Blunstone! What next… how about sampling some fire-eating.

[Football explained, or not!] I is for…

WASN’T THERE… as in what half the population call illness, and the other gender call man flu. It’s blowing a gale with horizontal rain and you’ve been under the duvet for most of the last 24 hours; so the big question, among considerations of Paris bombings and Syrian aerial bombardment, or how to manage a European refugee crisis, is do I go to the match or not?

yes-238381_1280

Having made an executive decision of major proportions, the sub-duvet bunker provides the perfect location for radio airwave surveillance. It takes a little over the allotted 90 minutes to realise ‘I’ also stands for INSULT to INJURY… as in what is added to the aforementioned illness as my team manage to blow a 2-0 lead by conceding an own goal in time added on. Just as the glorious summit was in sight the mist descended! The duvet decision is vindicated.

Searching for clarity

But in a creative (aka delirious) moment I ponder how ‘I’ could possibly stand for DON’T BELIEVE IT, in the event that the Cupertino, California fruit-influenced image makers seize on the so-called ‘beautiful game’. Imagine… iScore on the iPitch during the iMatch. I’m out of here! If you’re looking for real branding look no further than ICONIC Cardiff

Cardiff branding [2]ArmadilloUntil we speak again I will continue to be Bella… and for the record it was Cardiff City 2 Burnley 2, with the locals having played 18, won 6, drawn 8, and lost 4, which puts them currently 10th in the league.

Unforeseen dangers

Contemplating from my chairI knew they shouldn’t have shown The Towering Inferno at Splott Cinema recently!

 

Though it didn’t look the most inviting of places in recent years…

Splott cinema

After the secret showing some even had the temerity to suggest there was little difference!

Splott Cinema after fire

Until we speak again I’m going to be a cautious Bella about what I watch in the cinema!

Five cats in a bath


There seems to be a strongly held belief that cats and liquids don’t go so well together. As I contemplated the wide world beyond my window a story came to mind that might just debunk such a myth. This is a tale of a rag-tag assortment of five Welsh and English cats who went on a trip to Bath. Clearly such an event would be infused with architectural and cultural highlights, as Bath is after all a UNESCO World Heritage Site. But, there was an ulterior motive driving this particular excursion, which may become more clear as the journey unfolds.
Who could possibly fail to be bowled over by the stunningly protected architectural heritage of the uniformly maintained Bath stone exteriors, including the eponymous Roman Baths. Palladian architecture purposefully integrated into urban spaces that create a unique historical urban aesthetic…


However, enough of the architectural appreciation; this was a day for testing whether cats and liquids mix! Cue the first experimental site aka The Old Green Tree:

With Welsh cats taking up the Pitchfork challenge, and English cats taking up the cider challenge, the first test was passed without incident.
For many people arriving in Bath for the first or subsequent times, a great draw is the 1499 Bath Abbey, built on the site of an 8th century church…


But, enough of the quasi-religious observation, what these cats were more intent on, was finding further evidence that liquids provide no fear to those who are determined. At 1482 the oldest building in Bath seemed to have been occupied by a Sally Lunn in 1680, but these cats had no time for stories of buns in the oven…

They had other challenges ringing in their ears, as the toll of The Bell would provide the next stopping off point in this epic trek…


Not to tax the sloshing of the brain cells too much, Welsh cats had a simple choice partly indicated by the name of the hostelry… a pint of Bellringer would provide the next source of water-based challenges. Meanwhile, our intrepid English cats were determined that apple was to be the continued source of experimentation. Be very clear, this is no Cupertino California fruit-influenced technological exploration; we are talking good old fashioned West Country apples.

Every herd needs a leader, or so they say. In this case it was Fat-Freddies Cat who chose to avail the herd of an extensive range of Bath-based water-inspired experience. Never knowingly a cat to be seen in a circus, but when the occasion demands the cat responds, and the ring-master was suddenly to be seen striding to the centre of a… circus!


When in Bath time needs to be devoted to the source of great Georgian attraction. Who would be a resident in the constant gaze of cats from all four corners of the planet? Though on close examination it would seem many residents are absent owners.

However, enough of the neo-classical appreciation society; these cats had business at hand, and the next challenge as darkness draws in, was to find a guiding light…

Best not waste a Star when it offers illumination on the challenge at hand. No shortage of Bellringer in this hostelry, but yours truly veered off in the direction of Buttcombe Bitter; perhaps mistakenly side-tracked by a name reminiscent of the pastime so much enjoyed by cats dedicated to cleaning the nether regions! As for our English cats, well, they were determinedly committed to inspection of the apple.
The attraction of cats to water was further inspired by a minor detour to a viewing platform above the Avon weir…

… a sight that suddenly inspired a thought-bubble for Gogledd Cat understandably struck by the Magic of Bath!

But enough of the mythical and mystical distractions, this ‘not so famous’ five had some staggering on to do, as the water-based consumption combined with the challenging terrain were beginning to take their toll.

Enough of the standing, where are the seats, demanded an English cat’s representative? If a cat was seen to be flagging, be sure Bath had ways of swooping down on you… cue the next port of call, The Raven would surely keep our intrepid warrior cats lively and awake. Plenty of golden and also darker coloured waters to sample here, and the Exmoor Gold was a tasty addition to the accumulating reservoir.


As the water-borne experiment kept flowing on, could we be sure our aquatic interlopers even noticed the passage of time? Religious illumination abounds in Bath when the natural light of day fades away. But this was no time for kittens, as the weight of aqualine intake rises so it’s time for lions… cue the arrival at the final lotion provider of the day, Coeur de Lion:

No shortage of Bellringer in this city, but the quantity is beginning to tell, and our intrepids need to find a way to shore before they run the risk of drowning. In this place of religious artefact and instruction there was surely one final message to be heeded. It seems that previous aquatically challenged cats found a strange way to exit the scene… when the head begins to feel fuzzy perhaps the only way is up!

Until we speak again I’m going to be Bella, a student more of cultural and architectural interests, and temporarily less of aquatic culture. The verdict from a trip to Bath is that cats and water-based refreshment are a fabulous mix… try it some time.