Premier League unplugged [3]

 

For 31 minutes of this contest, Cardiff City FC held their own against the mighty current champions of Manchester City FC. But, then…

Down the pan

Just like every other game this one started with a sense of hope, expectation, and the obligatory handshakes…

City v Man City

Until we speak again, it was soon to be like lambs to the slaughter, as the final whistle beckoned with a Cardiff City 0 Manchester City 5 scoreline. And so, as the shepherd said to his dog… “it’s time to get the flock out of here!”

 

[Football explained, or not!] I is for…

WASN’T THERE… as in what half the population call illness, and the other gender call man flu. It’s blowing a gale with horizontal rain and you’ve been under the duvet for most of the last 24 hours; so the big question, among considerations of Paris bombings and Syrian aerial bombardment, or how to manage a European refugee crisis, is do I go to the match or not?

yes-238381_1280

Having made an executive decision of major proportions, the sub-duvet bunker provides the perfect location for radio airwave surveillance. It takes a little over the allotted 90 minutes to realise ‘I’ also stands for INSULT to INJURY… as in what is added to the aforementioned illness as my team manage to blow a 2-0 lead by conceding an own goal in time added on. Just as the glorious summit was in sight the mist descended! The duvet decision is vindicated.

Searching for clarity

But in a creative (aka delirious) moment I ponder how ‘I’ could possibly stand for DON’T BELIEVE IT, in the event that the Cupertino, California fruit-influenced image makers seize on the so-called ‘beautiful game’. Imagine… iScore on the iPitch during the iMatch. I’m out of here! If you’re looking for real branding look no further than ICONIC Cardiff

Cardiff branding [2]ArmadilloUntil we speak again I will continue to be Bella… and for the record it was Cardiff City 2 Burnley 2, with the locals having played 18, won 6, drawn 8, and lost 4, which puts them currently 10th in the league.

That sinking feeling

You talking to me?It was August 2014, and Juno gave me that look that clearly said “who do you think you are kidding?” as I told her of my team’s position as early season favourites to win the 2014/5 Championship trophy.

I am sure she was only being protective of the ‘tenant of her home’… who was clearly caught up in that summertime football disease, shared by all who become attached to their home town team at a young age, only to suffer a lifetime of pain and exasperation! But not this time; we have just had our first taste of a season in the big-time, and we were definitely going straight back to where we now believed we belonged.

purpledragonbirdCombat quickly resumed between fans of ‘the Bluebirds’ and the owner of the ‘Red Dragons’, leaving a proud but confused sense of supporting ‘the Purple Dragonbirds’.

 

Chillout catJuno made it quite clear that any talk of the football stuff should not reach the 10 word limit. Her readership deserved better than to be subjected to the notorious nonsense spoken in the name of the beautiful game. I was determined to keep to the challenge, and with this in mind the season began.

Come on CardiffAugust was still breathing a warm breeze across the home crowd as early signs of what was to come flicker into unwelcome life.

“JOYOUS ENTERTAINMENT WAS RESTRICTED TO PLAYERS BANK MANAGERS ONLY.”

Welcome to CCS

September sees something less than welcome down at the CCS, as the manager is shown the door following a run of poor performances.

“OVER-PAID UNDER-ACHIEVERS OUT ON A SATURDAY STROLL.”

Welshmen will not yield

Autumn brings a brief respite with a few home wins. But the regular hail that ‘Welshmen will not yield’ falls on deaf ears, as the team struggle to field many.

“PLAYING THE BEAUTIFUL GAME SEEMED BEYOND THEIR PAY GRADE.”

We are Cardiff CityAt times across a long winter the ever-quieter home support needed reminding who they were.

“WATCHING GRASS GROW WAS BOTH UNINTERRUPTED AND TIME-CONSUMING.”

 

Water pleaseThe lowlight came in the penultimate home game, where both teams needed something to bring them to life.

“NINETY MINUTES OF NOTHING PUNCTUATED BY SOUNDS OF SNORING.”

Until we speak again, may your football be uplifting and life-affirming; and Juno’s final punditry to reflect the whole season could just as easily have been a prediction way back in August…

“SERENDIPITY CREPT OUT THROUGH THE BACK DOOR COMPLETELY UNNOTICED!”

 

 

Capitulation in the sun

Cardiff City 0 Bolton Wanderers 3

Water please

“EARLY SEASON HIGH EXPECTATIONS QUICKLY BECAME SHISH KEBAB… SKEWERED!”

Until we speak again it is important to rememberChillout cat that Bill Shankly once claimed football was more important than matters of life and death, but Juno’s view on football hyperbole was to respect it primarily for its sedative qualities… what can’t be said about football under 10 words wasn’t worth listening to!!!

Blues brothers

Cardiff City (the Bluebirds) 2 Birmingham City (the Blues) 0

We are Cardiff City “SOARING BLUEBIRDS RARE HOME WIN… AGAINST A DUMPSTER ELEVEN!”

Until we speak again it is important toChillout cat remember that Bill Shankly once claimed football was more important than matters of life and death, but Juno’s view on football hyperbole was to respect it primarily for its sedative qualities… what can’t be said about football under 10 words wasn’t worth listening to!!!

Two tribes…

Cardiff City 1 Charlton Athletic 2

City v Charlton [2]“ENGAGING THE BATTLE FOR THE DIZZY HEIGHTS OF MEDIOCRITY.”

fotosearch.com

Until we speak again it is important toChillout cat remember that Bill Shankly once claimed football was more important than matters of life and death, but Juno’s view on football hyperbole was to respect it primarily for its sedative qualities… what can’t be said about football under 10 words wasn’t worth listening to!!!

[With special thanks to fotosearch.com for posting the original ‘mediocrity’ image used to illustrate this post.]

Aberrant sophistry

Cardiff City 0 Wolverhampton Wanderers 1

City v Wolves [1]

“IN THE SPACES OF UNCERTAINTY IMAGINATION THRIVES… SOMEWHERE ELSE.”

Until we speak again it is important Chillout catto remember that Bill Shankly once claimed football was more important than matters of life and death, but Juno’s view on football hyperbole was to respect it primarily for its sedative qualities… what can’t be said about football under 10 words wasn’t worth listening to!!!

Tragic at the magic

Cardiff City 1 Reading 2

Dropped pins are likely to be heard in the Canton Stand

Canton Stand conundrum: can a dropped pin be heard if no one is there?

 

 

The magic of the cup has eluded many of the home fans

The magic of the cup has eluded many of the home fans

 

 

 

 

 

 

“WE’LL ALWAYS BE BLUE…CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR.”

Until we speak again it is important to rememberChillout cat that Bill Shankly once claimed football was more important than matters of life and death, but Juno’s view on football hyperbole was to respect it primarily for its sedative qualities… what can’t be said about football under 10 words wasn’t worth listening to!!!

Magic of the Cup?

Spare a thought for a long suffering cat… no, not illness per se, more a situation where you are surrounded by football. BBC, BT Sport, BBC Radio 5 Live, Talk Sport Radio, the anticipation of what might be, the depressing outcome of what has been, and the endless nonsense talked by the mass of so-called pundits/experts… with otherwise sensible people being partially defined by the teams they become unfortunately harnessed to from a young age. Cardiff City FC are a prime example of such an affliction!

Juno stoically experienced the lot with an unwavering regal demeanour; but for any cool cat there is a limit. Chillout catJuno was never a cat for imposing strict prohibitions on nonsense, but her actions helped to set a trend… I was under no illusions regarding waffle time, and clearly had to say what needed to be said about the subject quickly and succinctly. It didn’t take her long for Juno to adopt her favourite football pose, and so ‘Football in under 10 words‘ surreptitiously came to be.

The advent of any new year in the UK always heralds an under-stated expectation across England and Wales that the third round of the FA Cup is the serious start of the road to Wembley (a poor substitute for the Millennium Stadium). So once again Cardiff City FC enter the competition on their rightful road to cup glory. Here is a retrospective look at the first steps along that road, before today’s eagerly awaited 4th Round stepping stone to glory. The only problem seems to be a failure of message in the city that surely accommodates the home of footballing excellence…

Cardiff City 3 Colchester United 1

The magic of the cup?

“SECOND GOAL ALMOST WAKES UP HANDFUL OF HOME SUPPORT!”

Until we speak again it is important to remember that Bill Shankly once claimed football was more important than matters of life and death, but Juno’s view on football hyperbole was to respect it primarily for its sedative qualities.

The Andrex effect

Cardiff City 2 Watford 4

Untitled

 

 

 

“STRONG ON PAPER, MOSTLY ASSOCIATED WITH CRAP IN PRACTICE!”

City v Watford

Until we speak again I have been Pundit Juno bringing you everything you need to know about football in less than 10 words.