[Football explained, or not!] T is for…

TROUBADOUR… as T’YORKSHIRE TYKES TRY TO TRICK  local TRIBESMEN with a seductive mascot in their TRADITIONAL TAPESTRY of white…

animal-sitting-animals-inside

But it is also about TRAVESTY as a TABLEAU of TENDENTIOUS TRANSGRESSIONS THWART THE TERRITORIAL TENACITY of the huddled few…

City v Leeds [1]

Those in the know (i.e. biased home supporters) understand that T is for TENUOUS… as TREMULOUS TREPIDATION sets a TEMPLATE for a TOXIC TRAJECTORY as recent TUMULTUOUS TRACTION TURNS TO TRAUMATIC TRANSACTION…

Concept: Successful business trend. Happy talented businesswoman pointing arm upwards in front of ascending business graph, isolated on grey background.

Thinking cat

If I didn’t know better I’d swear my TRUCULENT TYRANT TRANSACTS THROUGH TRANSFERENCE and the proposition of a TSUNAMI of TURMOIL is nothing more than TANTAMOUNT TO TRAGICOMEDY!

Until we speak again this Bella will TRADE only in TAUTOLOGIES. For the record it was Cardiff City 0 Leeds united 2, with the locals having played 36, won 14, drawn 13, and lost 9, which puts them currently hanging TANTALISINGLY to 7th in the league.

[Football explained, or not!] S is for…

SISYPHEAN… as the locals adopt a STOIC attitude to their team’s SOMNAMBULANT SHIFTING between 7th and 10th positions in the league, but never quite SURGING into the all-important Top SIX.

With all one's strength

SERENDIPITOUS… as fans SALIVATE over the SHOCK of back-to-back SEISMIC home wins.

City v Preston [1]

 

City v Preston [2]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SCINTILLA… as SUBTLETY SUCCUMBS to SPECULATION (yet again!) of what might be over the remaining 12 games.

yes-238381_1280

For me, the SEQUESTERED SHIBBOLETH only SERVES  to SATIRISE SOUPCON of SOPHISTRY! 

Contemplating from my chairUntil we speak again this Bella will largely SASHAY in SUBLIME SERENITY as I offer you nothing less than SANCTIMONIOUS SALUTATIONS. For the record it was Cardiff City 2 Preston North End 1, with the locals having played 34, won 13, drawn 13, and lost 8, which puts them currently 7th in the league (temporarily at least).

Leek & Onion Soup

It’s a cold February day and my ‘in-house Oliver Twist’ is asking about ideas for feeding the masses. It being a big match event in the locality, I have no hesitation in coming up with my very own recipe. First, we need a pan big enough for all those insisting on “feed me ’til I want no more” (that’s an ‘in’ rugby comment). This will do…

Principality Stadium

Throw in generous portions of the main ingredients…

Ingredients

Add some heat to the cauldron…

Fire [1]

Fire [2]

Simmer for a few minutes…

Simmering

Sprinkle in a dash of yellow stuff…

Boil [1]

Add some crusty bread…

Bread [1]Bread [2]

 

 

 

 

 

Home appetites are guaranteed to be satisfied, as the final result clearly indicates a sumptuous outcome…

 

Final score

Rugby cat

 

Until we speak again I tempt your taste buds with my next menu, coming to an event near here: ‘Pizza for Proles’.

[Football explained, or not!] Q & R is for…

QUACK REDEMPTION… as the weather favours ducks.

Rain[4]

QUIET RIDICULE… as my ‘intrepid reporter’ QUITS the challenge half way to the match in a RECIDIVIST QUANDARY having failed to attend a match for the second occasion this month. 

Rain[7]

 

QUAGMIRE RENAISSANCE… as the home team overcome conditions to leave the travelling seagulls RELUCTANTLY QUAKING

Seagull & West Looe

ArmadilloUntil we speak again this Bella will remain QUASI RECONCILIATORY towards the in-house RAGAMUFFIN. For the record it was Cardiff City 4 Brighton & Hove Albion 1, with the locals having played 32, won 12, drawn 13, and lost 7, which puts them currently 7th in the league.

Men in Skirts

It’s Six Nations Rugby Internationals time again, and unlike my predecessor, the English Juno, I have no confusion over my loyalties…

Rugby cat

It’s Wales v Scotland for another of those atmospheric weekends in Cardiff

Wales v Scotland [1]

But it is a strange old game with some very odd sights to behold, none less than the quintessential Scottish characteristic of Men in Skirts!

Men in skirts

Local accommodations and hostelries can’t help themselves in an effort to engage with the event:

Hotel entranceRugby pub

 

 

 

 

 

 

Meanwhile people congregate at the stadium waiting for the arrival of the gladiators to the arena…

Stadium

And never has the back end of a bus been so celebrated…

Back end of team busMeanwhile it is the action on the pitch that counts most, and at the end of another hard fought game a brave Scotland succumb to the passion of the Welsh with a final score of…

Final score

Some of the national flowers show their excitement at the result…

Winning daffodils

And it is the home colours that flutter over St Mary’s Street in the heart of Cardiff…

Wales v Scotland [2] Until we speak again may all of your balls be egg-shaped!

[Football explained, or not!] N is for…

Bored

 

NARCOLEPSY… as the dull surroundings before the match remind the ‘resident stato’ of the snoozefest that this corresponding fixture produced last season.

 

 

City v Rotherham [1]

 

 

 

But football is a fickle mistress, and N is quickly identified as being for NURTURING of renewed expectations, as the home team take an early lead in the game…

City v Rotherham [3]

City v Rotherham [4]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But either side of half-time it is the away team that gratefully take the opportunities to score, and enjoy the unintentional hospitality of the welcome. N is suddenly for NEUROSES and the home fans reach for the NEUROLEPTICS to calm jittery nerves, as the roller-coaster of NARCISSISM takes its toll. Not surprisingly the stadium staff do not show a screenshot of the 1-2 score!

Untitled But here’s the thing, you never can tell what football will produce. N is clearly for NOURISHING as the home team fashion the equaliser…City v Rotherham [6]

City v Rotherham [7]

 

 

 

 

 

 

But there was still time for N to become NONSENSE in the eyes of home fans as NAPALM appears to descend on them, and a NARRATIVE of NEGLIGENCE is showered on the referee for sending off a City full-back through NEFARIOUS decision-making (or words to that effect!).

Thinking cat

Until we speak again this Bella will largely be ignoring the resident nouveau nihilist. For the record it was Cardiff City 2 Rotherham United 2, with the locals having played 28, won 10, drawn 11, and lost 7, which puts them currently 9th in the league.

[Football explained, or not!] M is for…

MEDIOCRITY… which judging from the recent experiences of the local team takes a lot of careful teamwork and planning. Here is where meteoric is more mythological, and the meticulous mimics malady.

City v Blackburn [1]

As normal service resumes for the whole of the first half we are reminded that M is for the MANGLE of MISERY… exemplified by the miscreant misdemeanours of maladroit malingerers; you don’t need to bring your own gloom, it comes provided in the ticket price!

City v Blackburn [2]

But M can briefly be for MELLIFLUOUS…  as a rare flowing movement gives the home team players and supporters respite and cause for celebration, as the microscopic minutiae metamorphose into an unexpected mirage.

City v Blackburn [3]

And finally, M is for MENDACIOUS MISCELLANY…  as a justly deserved but narrow home win tempts the fans to continue returning to the maelstrom of malarkey that manages to mirror the developing masquerade.

What's that?

 

 

Until we speak again this Bella will largely be ignoring the resident mentor of melancholia. For the record it was Cardiff City 1 Blackburn Rovers 0, with the locals having played 25, won 9, drawn 10, and lost 6, which puts them currently 9th in the league.

[Football explained, or not!] L is for…

LARGESSE… as it is the season to be jolly Santa turned up and the away team were gifted a goal on their first attack, against the early run of play. The greetings were less than seasonal from the home crowd, with references to “You fat ba$t@+d”.

City v Forest [2]

Cue the messages for the locals to overcome the effects of recent LIBATION… though ready for what is anyone’s guess!

Are you readu Cardiff?We soon become aware that L is for LABYRINTHINE… as the mesmeric intricacies of the passing create the equalising goal, while bamboozling the opposition as well as many in the crowd.

LabyrinthineBut this is Cardiff City Football Club, and it doesn’t take long to realise L is for LOST… not as in losing the match, more losing the brief observing of what is occasionally called ‘the beautiful game’! In terms of lexicology, the longevity of lightening locomotion is lobotomised by the lachrymose longeur of limitations. Put another way, we are treated to a litany of languid and laborious lateral play, inducing nothing more than a lamentable display of lacklustre limbo.

BoredArmadilloUntil we speak again this Bella will be longing to luxuriate in lustrous and lyrical liberation. For the record it was Cardiff City 1 Nottingham Forest 1, with the locals having played 24, won 8, drawn 10, and lost 6, which puts them currently 10th in the league.

Why go to Newport?

If Newport is the answer I would have to be very curious as to what was the question! Well, it’s the christmas season, so how do we get to avoid all of those obsessive bargain hunters flooding a shopping centre near you, purchasing all those things they don’t need just because the marketers have substantially dropped the price? It turns out that a couple of cats in the City Arms in Cardiff decided that Newport was the best way of avoiding the strange seasonal habits of the human race.

So three Cardiff-based cats… Yours Truly, Fat Freddies and The Banker (aka India Pale, Chocolate Stout and Organic Cider) set out to investigate…

Ye Olde Murenger House [4]Could it be that Newport has the highest respect for preserving its history? Here’s a novel way of showcasing those spare circa 1530 inns you happen to have lying around down the road from your railway station. Ye Olde Murenger House is so old that everything around it is either closed down or falling down!

Ye Olde Murenger House [1]

Perhaps it’s the modesty of the locals that shines through? Though when a place is often thought of as a beer desert you would be well advised to listen to local wisdom…

Ye Olde Murenger House [2]

Is it the haute cuisine that attracts inquisitive travellers from quite simply miles (well yards) around? The antidote to turkey is probably best found elsewhere…

Ye Olde Murenger House [3]

How about the courteous service? Though my ‘intrepid lotion-guzzler’ suggested that The Lamb has had an interesting recent makeover, providing pleasant surroundings, tasty beer, and perhaps a new innovation in the form of self-service (due to customer invisibility at a distance of a couple of yards). It was probably the desperate efforts to achieve a re-fill that got in the way of any photographic evidence of the makeover.

Or, is it the hotbed of sporting achievement that encourages mere mortals to simply look on in awe? Nuff said…

Newport v Plymouth [2]Truth be known, The Banker has been long exiled in Cardiff from somewhere mysteriously unnamed in south Devon, and has waited more than 66 years to watch the boyhood local team (Plymouth Argyle). Out of pure unadulterated respect the home team, Newport County, lost the match 2-1 not to spoil the occasion. The Banker has the truly unrivalled record of 100% success (take that Leicester City FC fans, with your altitude-induced nose-bleeds at the top of the Premier League!).

Call this food!Until we speak again I intend to be Bella, content with the thought that I can employ a personal envoy to represent me when trips to places such as Newport are on the agenda! Though my ‘ignominious traveller’ claims to have had an enjoyable day in the grunge capital of Europe. Please form an orderly queue when making your unnecessary purchases for temporary pleasures at over-filled emporia near you.

[Football explained, or not] K is for…

KARMA SUTRA… well, what do you expect when the birds (Cardiff City FC) and the bees (Brentford) get together? After all, there are at least 26 positions across the pitch (if you’re counting the referee and other officials); all laid out in front of a voyeuristic crowd!

Untitled

But K is also for KINAESTHESIA… as the kick-ass locals are fully in tune with muscle tone, position and movement, resulting in the quite common recent experience of going in to half-time with a 2-0 lead.

City v Brentford [3]

However, K is also for KNIFE-EDGE… as once again the full 90 minutes turn on a Desmond (Tutu, that is… as in 2-2), as knackered knaves kibosh the chance of any kudos.

City v Brentford [4]Then, suddenly K comes to stand for KAFKAESQUE… as the kerfuffle of a final kamikaze raid by the home team produces a winning goal in the last minute of added on time. Kaleidoscopic splinters coalesce, as kindred spirits no longer stare down the khazi. Karma is returned, no sutra required; as unrealistic expectations are kneaded back to kite-flying proportions.

With all one's strength

Chilling in the sunUntil we speak again this Bella will be anticipating Kalamity with a capital K; and where can a cat find a proper kebab when you need one? For the record it was Cardiff City 3 Brentford 2, with the locals having played 21, won 8, drawn 9, and lost 4, which puts them currently 7th in the league.