Hurricane ‘Diff

Posted on July 18, 2013 by Steve Morgan

You might think it is cool that us cats spend around 20 hours a day sleeping, but I for one pride myself on being fully alert to all that is going on in my local environment. Personally, I like to sleep with one eye open, so I can be instantly aware of the slightest stirring of any nocturnal creatures. During the day I sleep with the other eye open, so I can be aware of any potential food sources that busy themselves around the crack of lunch.

Understanding your local territory becomes essential for us warrior types. So you can imagine my surprise when I recently toured my adopted home city, only to find the strangest of happenings had occurred. I was first alerted to a potential catastrophe when I found a giant javelin had pierced the paving stones just outside of the central library, miles away from any athletics stadium.

I wouldn’t want to tangle with whoever threw that! But wait, it is not just something that one person could have caused… a force of nature had even bent all of the lamp-posts over:

As I turned another corner a tragic sight presented itself, and reminded me of the golden rule: when the going gets tough, let go! Unfortunately, this poor soul couldn’t have had time to react to whatever had struck the city with awesome force:

I realised that local industries must have been decimated by something other than greedy owners, politicians and economists, as bits of shovels, axles and buckets lay where they landed in the most incongruous of places:

But perhaps most surprising of all

was my thought that every anchor needs a boat (even though I am originally from East London that isn’t rhyming slang for anything)… was this the clue I was looking for as to what had happened, could it be something to do with the power of the sea, and if so what has become of the Cardiff Bay barrage?

In Cardiff you don’t see boats like you used to, but when you do they seem to be in the strangest of places, or was this another result of whatever had befallen the city while everyone was asleep:

I can only explain these strange happenings around the streets as being caused by some freak meteorological event… it is my conclusion that we have unwittingly experienced Hurricane ‘Diff. But before we seek the twinning of this fine city with that of New Orleans lets keep a sense of proportion, and be wise to any other explanation… it could be the first wave of an alien invasion in search of intelligent life, which is why they arrived in Cardiff, not in Swansea!

The good people of Cardiff should be assured that, to my knowledge, the only casualty seems to be the one who forgot to let go of their rope. All you other less fortunate readers (who don’t live in Cardiff) should also be assured that no animals or children were consumed in this story (unfortunately), so you can come visit the city without any fears.

To see more images of Cardiff street sculpture click on the link. None of my staff were referred to in this post as I have given them an hour off. See you again soon. Juno

No Joking!

Posted on July 15, 2013 by Steve Morgan

http://www.cardiffcomedy.co.uk/festival/whats-on

Alternatively, my surrogate sports fan told me that this poster was a reference to Cardiff Rugby Club’s season 2012-13. I hear the locals have a lot to talk about with Welsh rugby on the international stage. Just as well, because it seems the local stage has great big holes in it, and the theatrical troupe are slowly losing all their talented actors.

Jamie Roberts is off to France to spend more time with his expanding wallet. Sam Warburton and Leigh Halfpenny will soon form exhibits A & B in the great summer rugby auction, following rave reviews on the Aussie stage (where ‘Wales and a few others’ did rather well so I am told).

As for Cardiff Rugby Club fans in 2013-14, you always have a great history and tradition to look back on, as I’m not sure that competing with Newport Gwent Dragons to avoid being the lowest Welsh regional club in the league is an edifying spectacle… particularly when the football fans down the road are entertaining Premier League guests all season.

I’ve been Juno, but I’m not available to sign for the Cardiff Blues rugby team, as I have my standards to maintain.

Eat, drink and sizzle!!!

Posted on July 13, 2013 by Steve Morgan

You humans don’t half like your food! Come to think of it, I quite like your food as well, particularly that dead animal type of stuff. You vegetarians out there like to beat yourself up about the cruelty to animals thing, whereas us cats look on it this way… if it moves eat it, and if it doesn’t, eat it with a little less effort. But not to worry, vegetarians are safe with me… you don’t taste of much, and tend to have little protein to offer. That said, there are a number of good reasons why I like your food (not necessarily you as food), but for the main one just take a look at what I have to look at every morning:

My personal shopper likes to tell me it

says chicken on the packet. Well, kiss

my furry rump, it doesn’t look like the

chicken you all eat!

Staring at the bowl for a while got me interested in this idea of an International Food and Drink Festival, and so I took myself down ‘the Bay’ to see what was what.

Firstly, I didn’t get the ‘international’ thing, until I saw the Indian food tent and the kebab tent. So, ok I admit the idea of kofte’s and curry’s aren’t exactly Welsh inventions. Then I really didn’t get the chocolate and cheese stalls in 30 degrees of heat thing, but they tell me around here it is usually closer to 30 F than 30 C, and wet. At least the locals seemed to be enjoying it.

Talking about wet… I see the beer and cider tents seem to be the busiest. The tea and coffee stop seems to be struggling on a day like this (probably got someone doing a rain dance around the back). But, suddenly a sight to gladden the heart of any a cool cat… a tent with a sign saying ‘Welsh Venison Centre’. I feel a need to sink my teeth into a venison burger, low on the greenery and thick with the juicy brown stuff, topped off with a little chilli sauce. Us sophisticated cats have taste you know; none of these pretend burgers that are all bun and no gertrude. Bless those ‘dear’ venisons (I know it is supposed to be ‘deer’, it’s called artistic license) for sacrificing their lives to a greater good… or even a cunning kamikaze plan towards eventually killing off people through obesity and high blood pressure.

What’s that noise I hear? My fabulous burger is coming to an end, so my attention wanders to the sounds intermingling around the Bay… a distorted jazz band plays enthusiastically, as they are being ignored by loads of people. The whole place seems to be buzzing, and if you want to know the full programme of stalls, music and events check out the following link: http://www.cardiff-festival.com/content.asp search for the food festival and download the following programme:

Time for me to stop basking in the hottest day of this year (so far), and get back to those bowls of so-called chicken flavoured cat biscuits and cold water. See you again soon. Juno

The City of Arcades

Posted on July 11, 2013 by Steve Morgan

If there is one defining thing about us dames… it is that we do like to shop! Back in the wilds of East London I had to make do with scraps from street markets, and the bins of corner shops and local stores. I am not complaining, at times I had the choice of delicacies from many different parts of the world. It often felt like the United Nations emerged from the diversity of those very streets; and that got me excited about the idea of being near to Tiger Bay… the original United Nations-by-sea. But, that is not to be; I am near it, but the Tiger Bay I heard other cats talking about has long since gone.

It seems my local corner shop is now a great big John Lewis store, a bit more upmarket than I have been used to, but something I can easily adjust to as long as my personal banker keeps the taps running.

But wait… it seems this Cardiff place has something else to interest us discerning shoppers. It seems like the Victorians in this part of the world had an idea for building shopping ‘arcades’, and from the Royal Arcade in 1858 to the Dominions Arcade in 1921 Cardiff has become famous as ‘the’ city of arcades. As I slink along the shop fronts it can get quite confusing with all these different arcades with their fancy shops, and some not so fancy shops. High this and Morgan that, the odd Castle, and even a Duke, not to say a Wyndham (whatever that is).

Then I hear there was a Queen Street Arcade, a Dickens Arcade, an Andrews Arcade, and an Oxford Arcade… all gone. It is enough to make your head spin, but at least there is one great industry thriving in all of these arcades… coffee! How much coffee do you think there is in Brazil… well most of it seems to have found its way to Cardiff from what I see as I mooch along these mini glass-rooved shopping cathedrals.

After a smooth cappuccino in the Morgan Arcade I am looking like this:

A few macchiato’s in the Castle Arcade and the world is beginning to look at bit like this [go see loads of brilliant images by my friend Fat-Freddies-Cat at http://www.panoramio.com/user/5357514]:

castle arcade cardiff - balcony panorama

Then an espresso in the Royal Arcade and I’m shimmying across the glass roof looking something like this:

Thank heavens for the dimly lit recesses of The Old Arcade… the more familiar territory of the alley cat, with its stretch of beer-soaked, cigarette-butt littered cobbles leading me directly into the culinary palace that is… the Central Market.

I will have many more tales to tell about my sojourns around these arcades (and the market), but in the meantime if I have sparked your interest in this unique feature of my city I suggest you go to http://cardiffarcadesproject.com/ for loads of stuff and things about each of the arcades. See you again soon. Juno

Dealing in fractions

Posted on July 8, 2013 by Steve Morgan

I often like to do some silly impressions just to pass the time of day, and as a means of expressing my considerable talents. Here is one of me in a ‘Half Cat Half Rabbit’ moment:

It got me thinking that there is plenty about what I see around Cardiff that falls into various halves and quarters, and here are just a few reflections to share with you. Firstly, I was somewhat dismissive when my personal claw clipper came back from a Council meeting telling me that we live in an area of the city that has a below average crime rate. After all this is the edge of the city centre, in the south of the city that was the old docklands. I remember living in the old docklands in East London, and I wouldn’t say that these areas are noted for domestic open-door policies, if you know what I mean. But I can see how crime rates are so low in Cardiff, largely because the criminals are so obvious to spot… here we see ‘Half Swan Half Burglar’ going about their trade:

Doing things by halves isn’t necessarily going to get you anywhere, particularly if you are a dumb animal. Why not at least try under the cover of darkness?

Then as I stroll around the neighbourhood I feel sorry for some of the buildings… here is ‘Half Building Half Dream’, as I imagine this shabby excuse for a pile of glass and concrete thinking ‘when I grow up I want to be like that picture’. You didn’t know buildings have feelings?

Now, the Shard in London, that’s a dream…

Enough of these halves, it turns out that Cardiff is really a city of quarters… from the previous dreaming building I can see there might one day be a Capital Quarter, to go alongside the Brewery Quarter, Castle Quarter and Morgan Quarter:

Just to mess with your mind a little, I thought I would throw in a fifth quarter… the Blue Sky Quarter (complete with Welsh flags at the entrance) just to stimulate your own thinking, put in any quarter you like (that probably means something different to our American readers):

Anyway, all this strolling around the city and thinking in numbers eventually gets to a cat, so I am off back to my own quarters. See you again soon. Juno

A bowl full of India

Posted on July 7, 2013 by Steve Morgan

Cats and Indian food are probably not a combination that comes to mind that often. Dogs in Indian food has been a frequent joke we like to share at many a feline soiree… but they usually don’t have as much flavour as many of our other animal friends (you humans are so queazy about eating your ‘friends’). Don’t get the idea that I just lick clean those left-over silver trays either… oh no, I have my personal standards and exquisite tastes. Here I am tasting a particular favourite tandoori dish:

My personal litter-tray shoveller prefers that I leave the spicier vindaloo dishes alone, and my own sense of sophistication prevails when it comes to the chilli count.

My old stomping ground of East London likes to promote its Indian food credentials, but to the uninitiated you are often eating the just as tasty Bangladeshi cuisine. To my surprise, Cardiff is home to a very adventurous Indian restaurant at Moksh in the heart of the Bay.

Some of my less sophisticated alley-cat colleagues do me the favour of checking out the left-overs in the bins out back late at night, and pass on their critical appraisal of many establishments. Though this Moksh joint serves up a lot of what you would normally expect in a British Indian restaurant, Top Cat and mates were highly complementary about the twists and turns in the following selection:

Starters of Prawn Bollywood and a Moksh Delight (Chocolate and Orange Chicken Tikka).

Main of Duck Lemongrass Coriander (tangy sweet and sour curry).

Sides of Avatar Aubergines, Green Tea Rice and a Chilli Chocolate and Honey Naan.

Not quite sure what all of that is going to do to my litter tray, but it sounds fabulous. The place also decorates outside with a range of critical and customer tributes:

One problem I have found, as I slink around the Bay is that the place is usually closed while all the other usual chain restaurants around it are open! For those of you who want a true Indian culinary adventure, these things are best sampled at night, but you might want to book a table on busy evenings because it does seem very popular. I suggest you get more information from their own website at: http://www.moksh.co.uk/

As to what ‘Moksh’ actually means, I offer you the following from their outside decor:

“Release: Liberation: The term is particularly applied to the liberation from the bondage of karma and the wheel of birth and death: Absolute Experience”.

Any the wiser? Nor me… just be a cool cat and go and enjoy the food and leave the philosophical meditations to the academic cats. See you again soon on my stroll around Cardiff. Juno

Summer in the city

Posted on July 5, 2013 by Steve Morgan

I love summer. Nothing better than stretching out in front of the french windows… if only the sun would stop moving around to different parts of the flat! It just means I have to take the trouble to move a few feet every couple of hours. If only my personal groomer had listened to me when we were moving from London to Cardiff. I said we should get a flat that revolves with the movement of the sun, so I could identify my prime spot and let the real estate do all the hard work.

Anyway, enough of being right. The good news is that the sun has arrived today, and seems set to stick around for a while. What’s more, it actually shines in Cardiff, not just in London. I wasn’t sure they would have the same sun over here in the west, but I happily accept these bonus features that come with the move. Talking of happiness… my personal groomer seems to have made some contact with someone who knows what she is talking about, through some blog weekend or another back in the old country (London, that is). I liked reading a recent post that linked our feelings of happiness to these periods of sunshine. See the link at http://thehappinessexperiment.co.uk/sun-people-happiness/

The Happiness Experiment is something you all should be getting into; take it from me, this happiness thing works, as long as you have the right staff to deal with all the other stuff. That reminds me, my personal groomer seemed to make contact with a number of good people at The Gentle Author’s masterclass workshop. Thanks to Beata for reminding us all of the true saying “Dogs have owners, cats have staff”!

I digress, but all for your personal education. Back to summer in the city. I see that this Cardiff place looks quite good in the sunshine. Here is it’s Manhattan look:

And then there is the leisurely looking bay area for all of you who like to stroll by the water and get a refreshing drink and bite to eat:

Talking about a bite to eat, I think I had better leave you all now and remind my personal chef to ignore the bag of biscuits and get those swans in the oven. See you again soon, Juno

Do I spy lunch?

Posted on July 3, 2013 by Steve Morgan

With all that busy hustle and bustle in Newham, East London, including finding myself out on the street for a few weeks, I can really say I love this new home in Cardiff. I remember the car journey, thinking this is still too close to all this city centre action. What I was hoping for was some lazy tranquility, lying in the sunshine with a view over a gentle stream. Too much to ask of my slave (sorry, human)?

Well just look at this. My first view is of a quiet canal, with not a sound of thundering engines, or that local band the manic street shoppers. A city centre with water and green stuff… am I in Venice or Paris? What is meow in Italian or French? But look, what I never dreamt would be possible, water-bourne lunch… who needs meals-on-wheels when you can have swimming snacks?

Now, if only I could find a way out of here, perhaps I could escape the interminable cat biscuit diet! See you again soon. Juno

	David on Searching for Lebanon
	Kirt on NOLA: UK-style
	Wanda Rusiecki on Frohe Weihnachten
	Steve Morgan on Turkish delight
	Wanda Rusiecki on Turkish delight

JUNO's VIEW

Seeing Cardiff and the world through the eyes of one cool cat

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