P is for…

Cardiff City 0 Rotherham United 0

The match highlight!

The match highlight!

“PASSIONATE PAYING PUNTERS PREVIEW PLAYERS PERFUNCTORY PISSTAKING PERFORMANCE… PROBABLY.”

bored-cats

Until we speak again I have been Pundit Juno bringing you everything you need to know about football in under 10 words.

[With special thanks to photo bucket.com, socialphy.com, pollyannaofkaren.blogspot.com and jacktherat.wordpress.com for posting the images borrowed here to illustrate the collective feelings experienced at the Cardiff City Stadium today].

Arcade Fire

Cardiff City 3 Leeds United 1

Castle Arcade, Cardiff 1

Castle Arcade, Cardiff 1

Castle Arcade, Cardiff 2

Castle Arcade, Cardiff 2

Castle Arcade, Cardiff 3

Castle Arcade, Cardiff 3

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Leeds arcade roof detail

Victoria Arcade, Leeds 1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“SHOPPING FOR PYROTECHNICS? LOOK NO FURTHER THAN FOOTBALLING RIVALRIES.”

Until we speak again this has been Juno Fawkes bringing you everything you need to know about football in less than 10 words, and wishing you fireworks like the local team eventually produced in the second half today.

 

Pick a day, any day

Cardiff City 2 Sheffield Wednesday 1

Welcome to CCS “WEDNESDAY ON SATURDAY, RELIGION IS NOT JUST FOR SUNDAY.”

Weekly Updatewednesday quotes quote days of the week bugs bunny wednesday humpday wednesday quotes happy wednesday loony tooms

Until we speak again this is Pundit Juno bringing you all you need to know about football in less than 10 words.

[With thanks to Maura Anderson’s blog ‘realmsoftheraven’, and pinterest.com for the posted images].

Confused systems

Whack Job 1 Whacked Assassin 0

“4-4-2, 4-3-3 OR SIMPLY AN UNORTHODOX CRANIO-RECTAL FORMATION?”

Until we speak again this is Pundit Juno bringing you all you need to know about football in less than 10 words.

[With thanks to Sky Sports website for the posted image].

Time was

Cardiff City 0 Middlesborough 1

City v Middlesborough “BRIDGE TO TRANSPORTER, BEAM US DOWN A TEAM… QUICKLY!”

Transporter Bridge Middlesbrough England - great-britain Photo

Until we speak again this is Pundit Juno bringing you all you need to know about football in less than 10 words.

[With thanks for individual images of Middlesborough Transporter Bridge posted on google].

Canary mustard cutters…

Cardiff City 2 Norwich City 4

 Cut The Mustard

“… AS BLUEBIRDS COME THIRD IN A TWO HORSE RACE!”

Until we speak again this is Pundit Juno bringing you all you need to know about football in less than 10 words.

[With thanks for individual images posted on google].

Just add water

Cardiff City 1 Wigan Athletic 0

“IMMINENT BORE DRAW…

Just add water [2]

… FLOURISHES TO LIMP OVER THE LINE.”

Until we speak again this is Pundit Juno bringing you all you need to know about football in less than 10 words.

[Thanks to ‘photographsonthebrain’ site on Tumblr for posting the cat photo].

Re-awakenings

Cardiff City 3 Huddersfield Town 1

Welcome to Cardiff City Stadium

“LOCAL FANS IMPOSSIBLE EXPECTATIONS RESUME RESIDENCE ON CLOUD NINE!”

     Until we speak again this is Pundit Juno bringing you all you need to know about football in less than 10 words.

[With thanks to fineartamerica.com for the cat image].

OMG!!!

The football season has returned… a whole 10 minutes after the World Cup finished! So my resident ‘confounded optimist‘ is already buying into the pre-season hype of the local team being favourites to win the Championship again, and return to the Premier League (that they flunked so badly last time). The household is already resounding to the soundtrack of cliches and nonsense about the beautiful game returning to fill the void of a whole three weeks of nothing more than post-tournement pre-season tournements specially arranged for the tournement-deprived.

Look, no eyes!If, like me, you are catastrophically underwhelmed by another nine months of over-exagerated hyperbole dressed up as serious punditry delivered by people without a serious thought holding their ears apart, then I have a solution. No, give the Dignitas membership a miss! This season I am allowing the in-house ‘verbosity funnel‘ the chance to list home results, with maybe the occasional stat about the position in the league (for a laugh) and a completely uninteresting photo from the game. As for the endless drivel about the game of two halves… I am taking personal responsibility to provide succinct summaries of each home game in 10 words or less. After all, what more can you say about 22 men kicking balls?

Until we speak again, Pundit Juno is going to be placing every useful pre-season word uttered by ‘them who shalt be ignored‘ end-to-end, just to see if more than two words can actually be strung together! Meeeooow…

Vanishing Point

The Premier League season comes to its closing day, and just as architectural designs disappear to the horizon at the vanishing point so my resident ‘delusional desperado’ is about to disappear up their own passageway of dreams. They join the local tribe of dedicated panhandlers for the final time in their current Premier League existence, patiently wading through oceans of guano in the hope of the occasional pearl-laden oyster. But it is only the dark clouds rolling in that offer a genuine backdrop to the final contest. But even this final fight is more of a vanishing point, as two pugilists step into the ring for an event without a purpose, other than fulfilling a pre-determined contract. The home team are already relegated, and the away team end a season with their own disappointment of not being able to win anything.

  V.  

The locals persistently question the colour of the corners, but on this occasion the reality is that in the red corner we have ‘The Baby Faced Assassin‘ and in the blue corner we have ‘The Special One‘, as Ole visibly ageing and Jose progressively greying square up for hopefully anything but handbags at 10 paces…

   V.     

The potential pre-match hype stirred up by a street-fighting Mourinho, if his team had a heavyweight title depending on the contest, is all but missing. Snarls are replaced by the anodyne smiles of combatants with minds more firmly fixed on a summer of business in preparation for fights to be won in the future. If there is any real match day animosity it is all in the home camp as the fans make it very clear to the owner ‘they will always be blue’:

City v Chelsea [1]

The bell sounds for the first round, it is 3.00pm on a Sunday afternoon, and the home pugilists look deep down to their boots for some inspiration for the fight ahead:

City v Chelsea [2]Is this to be the mis-match of the century, as the heavyweights from the capital of England dominate the ring of the lightweights of the capital of Wales. The visitors certainly begin fleet of foot as they dance around the ring constantly probing for the opening to land a decisive punch. However, underestimate the lighter opponents at your peril, as on 15 minutes the Chelsea defence is opened up with a Craig Bellamy shot that produces a classic sucker punch as it deflects off a Chelsea defender to leave their last line of defence wrong-footed. A further 30 minutes of trading punches produces no further potential knockout blows. At the end of this round a shock is set up as the home fans witness a lead on points… Cardiff City 1 Chelsea 0.

The bell sounds for round two, but can the sleek arts of the pugilists recover against the early lead for the street-fighters?

City v Chelsea [4]The gulf in class is beginning to show as the delicate footwork of previous champions mesmerises their brave hosts. The home team cushion a few blows, and offer limited glimpses of the search for their own killer punch. On 72 minutes and 75 minutes the decisive combination of hook and upper-cut are applied, and the home fans are left on the floor. With the absence of Gary Medel, their iconic pitbull, they struggle to find the street-fighter spirit that would give them a chance of getting back into this match. The vanishing point duly arrives, as it is time to throw the towel in and slip off back to Championship football.

Final score of the final game of the season… Cardiff City 1 Chelsea 2.

My very own ‘little dot on the horizon’ arrives back with surprisingly measured temperament, but surely punch-drunk, as they evoke the spirit of many a defeated pugilist claiming that a comeback is on the cards, and it all starts here. Some people are just born masochists. Until we speak again I will be a Juno trying to discover what sense underpins the spending of billions of pounds on a few youngsters kicking a ball around a patch of grass.

[Some images have been gratefully borrowed from google images to illustrate the story, and are used with thanks to those who originally placed them].