Defining disaster

Posted on February 7, 2015 by Steve Morgan

Its the predilection for sniffing each others arses that reminded Juno that rugby was more a sport of dogs than the superior refinement of the cat. Yet setting aside the strange sexual proclivities of the public school playing fields of England, dressed up as men playing sport, it occasionally provides moments of ‘event’ proportions… and the Wales v England fixture is up there amongst the world’s great rivalries.

The stage is Cardiff, lauded by the locals and many fans around the world as a historic rugby fortress.

It is an hour before the kick-off, and no place for any weary shepherd and virgin combinations, as room in the inn has become impossible to find…

But the Millennium Stadium is poised ready to greet warriors of both tribes as they converge on the battlefield…

The tension gets ramped up even further as the full-strength gladiators of Wales enter the arena preparing to slay the under-strength superior numbers of England…

10 minutes into the match, and everything is going to the home fans favoured script as Wales take a comfortable 10-0 lead. All Welsh minds are reflecting on the demolition of their opponents in this very stadium a mere two years ago. However, England’s patchwork quilt of a team manage to fashion a try of their own to stem the red tide. A few other points from respective boots and half-time arrives with an unexpected but still seemingly comfortable 16-8 lead for the hosts.

Half-time team talks that transform a performance are legendary, but few and far between. But this must surely have been an occasion when the words said in the England dressing room should be bottled and sold for a fortune. My mind drifts back to a poster featuring one of the present day commentators, England’s own Brian Moore, which basically posed the threatening message ‘It’s not the winning or losing, it’s the TAKING APART!’ Well, Juno would have undoubtedly taunted me during the second half of this match, as the country of her birth, England, set out as a team possessed. With only a few minutes on the clock their persistent pressure and a moment of magic brings about a converted try. 16-15 to Wales, followed shortly after by further disarray in the battered home defence leading to an 18-16 lead for England. With little of any threat from the home team, the visitors add another penalty for a final score of Wales 16 England 21. The home nation are stunned, and the underdogs instantly show what this score means to them…

It’s the start of the Rugby World Cup year, when these two teams will meet in England in the group stages of the competition. When a full strength Wales lose at home to an understrength England in such a shock one-sided end to a game, don’t believe me or any of my fellow countrymen when we say this has no bearing on the forthcoming World Cup. Like all good cats we like to shrug off such an experience as a disappointment, when in reality it is better described as a calamitous disaster.

Until we speak again, watch this space… while memories of Juno’s favourite rugby pose neatly sums up the performance of the Welsh team.

[With thanks to shutterstock.com, erfeidine.blogspot.com and tweetsport.co.uk for original posts of the images borrowed to illustrate this tragic tale].

Caution, rams in town

Posted on January 31, 2015 by Steve Morgan

Cardiff City (the Bluebirds) 0 Derby County (the Rams) 2

“SELF PROCLAIMED SHEEP SHAGGERS SUCCUMB TO THE REAL DEAL.“

Until we speak again it is important to remember that Bill Shankly once claimed football was more important than matters of life and death, but Juno’s view on football hyperbole was to respect it primarily for its sedative qualities… what can’t be said about football under 10 words wasn’t worth listening to!!!

On the 10th word Juno would be suitably posed…

[With special thanks to mylespaul.com and photo bucket.com for the internet images used].

Tragic at the magic

Posted on January 25, 2015 by Steve Morgan

Cardiff City 1 Reading 2

Dropped pins are likely to be heard in the Canton Stand

Canton Stand conundrum: can a dropped pin be heard if no one is there?

The magic of the cup has eluded many of the home fans

“WE’LL ALWAYS BE BLUE…CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR.”

Magic of the Cup?

Posted on January 24, 2015 by Steve Morgan

Spare a thought for a long suffering cat… no, not illness per se, more a situation where you are surrounded by football. BBC, BT Sport, BBC Radio 5 Live, Talk Sport Radio, the anticipation of what might be, the depressing outcome of what has been, and the endless nonsense talked by the mass of so-called pundits/experts… with otherwise sensible people being partially defined by the teams they become unfortunately harnessed to from a young age. Cardiff City FC are a prime example of such an affliction!

Juno stoically experienced the lot with an unwavering regal demeanour; but for any cool cat there is a limit. Juno was never a cat for imposing strict prohibitions on nonsense, but her actions helped to set a trend… I was under no illusions regarding waffle time, and clearly had to say what needed to be said about the subject quickly and succinctly. It didn’t take her long for Juno to adopt her favourite football pose, and so ‘Football in under 10 words‘ surreptitiously came to be.

The advent of any new year in the UK always heralds an under-stated expectation across England and Wales that the third round of the FA Cup is the serious start of the road to Wembley (a poor substitute for the Millennium Stadium). So once again Cardiff City FC enter the competition on their rightful road to cup glory. Here is a retrospective look at the first steps along that road, before today’s eagerly awaited 4th Round stepping stone to glory. The only problem seems to be a failure of message in the city that surely accommodates the home of footballing excellence…

Cardiff City 3 Colchester United 1

“SECOND GOAL ALMOST WAKES UP HANDFUL OF HOME SUPPORT!”

Until we speak again it is important to remember that Bill Shankly once claimed football was more important than matters of life and death, but Juno’s view on football hyperbole was to respect it primarily for its sedative qualities.

Juno (2002-2015) R.I.P.

Posted on January 2, 2015 by Steve Morgan

It is with the deepest of sadness that I have to report the sudden and unexpected passing away of a most fabulously gentle and warm cat, Juno. She started the new year in its earliest hours with her usual lap-loving cuddly nature, but at 12 years of age seems far too young to suddenly succumb to a catastrophic stroke some 8 hours later. As difficult as the decision was, it was very obvious her quality of life had become completely compromised, and so with the aid of a very compassionate vet, and a close friend, she was helped to slip away with grace and dignity at 12.44pm on 1st January 2015.

Juno began her life as an indoor cat in Newham in the east-end of London, before joining me and Su in Charlton/Blackheath in south-east London via the streets and the Celia Hammond cat rescue centre in October 2009.

In April 2012 she moved with me from London to Cardiff to a flat that was instantly hers…

She adopted a regal air about the place from the outset…

Occasionally tried to hide before the annual vet trip, though those whiskers gave away the hiding place!…

She had an intensity about her mission of keeping me in check…

Loved to keep abreast of the news…

But now, for a small cat, she leaves a massive hole in what has been her home for nearly 3 years. She became the inspiration for my new adventure into the world of blogging in June 2013… when ‘Juno’s View’ was born out of a creative way of looking at my home city. She referred to me in derogatory ways in so many of the posts, but never by name… and for those readers who don’t know me, I will keep it that way.

She has left me with so many memories and inspirational thoughts, so as a memorial to such a fabulous companion I do intend for ‘Juno’s View’ to continue as a blog. For a short period of time I will not be publishing new posts, but I may re-blog some of my favourites from the 122 prior to this one. I only ask that current followers remain patient with me on that one, and any new followers stumbling on this site I hope the previous 122 will offer you some smiles and insights before new content appears.

She always signed off with an ‘Until we speak again…’, but on this somber occasion her final signing off is something so appropriate to her nature… she sends you the love!

Off yer trolley

Posted on December 30, 2014 by Steve Morgan

Just as another year draws to a close I was meandering along the canal side near home, pondering the shear magnitude of life, as many cats do. When I was suddenly accosted by a metaphor, illuminating my very thoughts at that moment… that art truly can imitate life.

I’ve lost count of the number of times I have heard about a shopping trolley being spotted in places where shopping trolleys shouldn’t ought to be. Having said that my favourite was the apocryphal tale of the trolley found half way up the Sydney Harbour Bridge just at the time when the Bridge Walk was opened in 1998 (attributed to a student prank of alarming audacity before the walk was officially opened). Yes, my intrepid litter tray cleaner was one of the first few hundred to make the official climb (though apparently sans shopping trolley), and was dubiously supplied with the aforementioned tale.

So, my particular insight for you to take into the unknown of 2015 is that shopping trolleys have a habit of installing themselves into many places, and now thanks to the arbiters of taste in Cardiff you can add municipal art installations to the list…

Until we speak again I aim to be Moderation Juno trying not to get off my trolley.

Arse-end surveillance

Posted on December 13, 2014 by Steve Morgan

I know… I said in my introduction to this blog that I wouldn’t lick my bits while addressing you all, but eventually every cat has to do what a cat has to do!

Feel free to lick your own by the way, it can be a great source of inspiration… why, just the other day, while I was abluting I couldn’t help but reflect on the limitations of modern day architecture. “What on earth are you on about?” you ask. Well, it suddenly came to me that all the inspirational creative design goes into the front end of buildings, and the arse-end rarely presents the most attractive of views. A bit like me really!

So I thought I would put my hypothesis to the test to see what we can learn from the local area in Cardiff. Talk about ‘learning’… where better to check out this observation than the neighbouring University of South Wales? From a distance it looks like a jumble of boxes have just fallen out of an overflowing cupboard…

Yet get up close and personal and it looks like someone put some creative thinking into producing a striking visual facade, rather than the more usual blandly boring box-like structures…

Gently strolling towards the side of the building and you see the dramatic change in design principles, as we view the areas less well observed by the masses of the architecturally unconcerned…

>>>>

Then, the coup de grace of my thesis, as we all recline in our pedestrian supremacy… and those pesky car drivers get their just desserts. The arse-end of the building offers nothing much of any visual delight. A car park is usually home to those who are more consumed in their own self-importance, and expressers of righteous indignation if they can’t travel their door-to-door journeys uninterrupted in their personal motorised cages. So why should they be regaled with visionary architecture?

Until we speak again feel free to undertake your own arse-end surveillance, in whatever guise sparks your creative juices. I will continue to be Inspired Juno on my meanderings around my local city.

P is for…

Posted on December 6, 2014 by Steve Morgan

Cardiff City 0 Rotherham United 0

The match highlight!

“PASSIONATE PAYING PUNTERS PREVIEW PLAYERS PERFUNCTORY PISSTAKING PERFORMANCE… PROBABLY.”

Until we speak again I have been Pundit Juno bringing you everything you need to know about football in under 10 words.

[With special thanks to photo bucket.com, socialphy.com, pollyannaofkaren.blogspot.com and jacktherat.wordpress.com for posting the images borrowed here to illustrate the collective feelings experienced at the Cardiff City Stadium today].

Crunch time

Posted on November 29, 2014 by Steve Morgan

Don’t listen to any talk of expecting a home win, the locals were fearing the worst as the Autumn Internationals against the best of the southern hemisphere were about to draw to a close for another year. A display of inflatable rugby balls should not be taken as a sign of inflated expectations. The venue was still the same old Heartbreak Hotel…

… where the script remained stubbornly unedited. Wales just love to be in the lead against the three most successful teams in the world, only to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory in the last minutes of each match. Today was crunch time, as this would be the last of the big three arriving in Cardiff before next year’s Rugby Union World Cup, with leads already surrendered against Australia and New Zealand earlier in the month.

It was also crunch time as matches against the South African Springboks are always prefaced with terms such as physicality, brutality, and heavy crunching tackles.

Two hours to kick-off and the stats were far less significant than the all-important preparation before the match… where clearly there was no room in the inn…

: City Arms

: City Arms

: Great Western

The match gets under way, and in the stadium everything was going to script, as the game remained evenly balanced as the first half progressed…

But, for some spectators there was a clear preference for a sunny disposition, even if the result went the way of other visits by South African teams at the final whistle…

But, just once in a while the pain of history can be soothed by that rare experience of a win! When the final whistle came… well, it was always expected according to my ‘in-house prophet’!

It also clearly seemed to mean something to the perennial bottlers, as the final whistle provides a cue for public man-on-man kissing and cuddling. At least it makes a change from all that sniffing of arses vibe going on during the match!

Strange how this sport gives you some winners silverware when you achieve only the second win against your opponents in a lengthy history of this fixture. There must be a world surplus of silver I guess…

WALES 12 SOUTH AFRICA 6

So, until we speak again I have been Baffled Juno, subjected to a month of observing something resembling egg-chasing. I am sure us cats would never demean ourselves by indulging in such strange pastimes…

As for the locals, my guess is they will be oblivious to the result when they have finally dragged themselves home from the pubs and clubs of a raucous and victorious Cardiff!

[With thanks to wesclark.com for the image of cats playing rugby].

The sheep-shaggers derby

Posted on November 23, 2014 by Steve Morgan

“This is it, this is the big one” my resident sporting masochist kept repeating in the build up to the weekend. I stifle a yawn and feign interest, as this is the person who fills my bowl and knows not to disturb my finely calibrated sleeping routines. To me the idea of mutual arse-sniffing is a distinctly dog-thing, not to be engaged in by 30 self-respecting grown men, under the subtle cover of playing something called Rugby Union. But, on this occasion it seems we are talking the world’s number one all-conquering New Zealand All-Blacks coming to town. I gaze into a mirror and try to remind the unobservant one that the all blacks are always in town… me!

In a failed attempt to avoid all forms of stereo-type I imagine the trophy for this occasion… a startled Welsh ewe being mounted by a triumphalist kiwi. While my in-house hopeless romantic is dreaming of another planet somewhere in a parallel universe, where a Welsh 15 are putting the all-blacks to the sword. However, it is an occasion to behold, as it is not often that a consistently world-beating team swagger into town. As I stroll about the town centre, a mere three hours before kick-off, it is obvious that the forthcoming encounter requires serious preparation, as kiwi’s gather in familiar territory even when on the opposite side of the world.

Not to be out-done in their own back-yard, the locals of Wales put on a display of national pride… otherwise known as the Max Boyces’ version of a boy-band called Boycezone!

Everywhere you walk is accompanied by the deafening silence of plastic glasses, as the overlords of health and safety ensure everyone has fun… but with a strange after-taste in the mouth.

: Flags and flagons

: Street party

: More room at the inn

: Magnetic banners

‘What about the match?’ You ask. ‘Who needs a match when you have an excuse to drink yourself stupid all day?’ I wonder. For the record, local expectations were high, and it all begins with the usual New Zealand tradition of the Haka…

The match quickly develops throughout the first half into the unusual rugby combination of a low scoring ‘cracker’, before the home team twice take the lead in the second half, to set up the unlikely prospect of a ‘haha-wacker’!

But we are talking the world’s number one team here; and for all of the expectations as Wales lead with little more than 13 minutes left on the clock, inevitability strikes… with three tries and no further points conceded the scoreline takes on a familiar, but for this match rather unrepresentative, look:

Wales 16 New Zealand 34

My resident optimist searches for a ray of hope in the repeated gloom, and offers a thought that maybe revenge will be sweet in the World Cup in 11 months time. Until we speak again I have been a bewildered Juno, and feel any such optimistic thoughts belong locked away in the bubble from whence they came. Don’t suffer too much disturbed sleep dreaming of the vision of that Welsh ewe!

[With thanks to BBC News Online for images of the Haka].

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JUNO's VIEW

Seeing Cardiff and the world through the eyes of one cool cat

Tag Archives: Wales