Is Bruce an alien?

Some of you will recall that I recently outlined the evidence for Hurricane ‘Diff having caused some extremely strange sights around the city; but I also raised the possibility that it may be due to an alien invasion. I hope you didn’t lose too much sleep over those thoughts, while I was snuggly curled up on my velvet cushion gently twitching as I dreamed of the torment I could inflict on other animals (all in the best possible taste of course, or should the word ‘tasty’ fit in there somewhere?). Well, despite my regal demeanour, I am about to send another shock wave into your lives… there is growing evidence that an alien invasion has occurred in Cardiff; and, what’s more, Bruce Springsteen may in fact be an alien.

Some of you might be old enough to remember ‘Jeff Wayne’s musical version of War of the Worlds‘ (1978), and those of you old enough to be around at the the time of the H.G. Wells original story may have vivid memories of the radio event (1938), but you probably have no idea what you had for lunch a few hours ago. Key to the Martian invasion were the metal outer bodies that the aliens occupied, which came to represent broken shells when our bacterial life killed off the occupants. Forget Horsell Common, the Surrey location of the original invasion… we have one of them rotting away down at the Bute East Dock:

Derelict crane [2]In fact, the inhabitant may still be in the locality, as there have been occasional sightings of

what can only be described as the Bute-ness monster lurking in the depths of the dock close to its original metal shell:

Bute-ness monster

More contemporary evidence has emerged through the landing of the mothership right in the heart of the city centre, and clearly alien life still requires to be near to water, hence the chosen landing site.

Millenium Stadium

Rumours abound that Bruce Springsteen will be lighting it up and making noises out of it on 23rd July 2013 as a means of taking over the thoughts and minds of thousands of local residents, and even some people who will travel far and wide to view the spectacle of the mother-ship rocking to the sounds he makes with the E Street Band. If you stand near the site around 9.30pm on the evening of the 23rd you should get all the evidence you need.

However, if you are still not convinced, further evidence of his alien credentials can be gleaned from listening to some of the things he says, particularly repeating the phrase ‘Born in the USA‘. Have you ever met an American be so vague about their birthplace? Normally you get town, county, state, percentage breakdown of parental heritage, persecutions their grandparents were fleeing from, and the date the first ancestor set foot on Ellis Island. Someone who simply answers ‘Born in the USA’ can only be hiding something, or is other-worldly. He also claims to have a successful album called ‘The River’… well just look where the mothership landed, eh!

He calls himself ‘The Boss’… well I can relate to that, what with all the staff I employ. My personal music selector says that some of his best stuff was done by other people, which just sounds a little alien to me. But I do like ‘Blinded by the Light‘ which was written by Bruce but recorded most successfully by Manfred Mann’s Earthband back in 1976. But for all you fans click here for a review of the Cardiff gig that took place on the 23rd July 2013.

In the meantime, if any of you get the chance to take a tour of the mothership my surrogate sports fan says it is an awesome spectacle, whether occupied by aliens or not at the time you go. Check it out here. I am still being Juno, so see you again soon.

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